never been kissed..........

I have been nostalgic the last few days. Apparently it's all because of this special blue moon, lunar eclipse new years eve thing. Or maybe its just that time of year. It easy to start remembering what I did last year at this time ( I was running the LV kitchen while my boss was on vacation). 2 years ago I was in Phoenix celebrating with the coolest crew, my permie friends and cafe friends. 3 years ago I did a yankee swap gift exchange gone wrong with my family, then saw fireworks on the space needle.
It's just easier to remember the years past with something to mark the years with...like the holidays, or the ages of a child.
It's all a blur after that for me though. These last few years have been the best ever. I am so glad to do the cool things I do now.My next step is to really be able to enjoy the times with more people. I want to really know people, and for them to know me.
What else do I want?
I want to write more
I want to know what I want
I want to ask for what I want
I should put this in a more positive form by saying 'I will'
I will be a better mom
I will have a great support network
I will live life with joy and ease
I will expand my garden
I will have an art show
I will make more than enough money for everything I need
I will sell my van
I will live in community
I will be proactive
I will manifest greatness

solstice

a quick bit about solstice....
what a great weekend! a friend held a primitive skills solstice gathering at his home. thats where Ive been for the last few days.
I learned
to knit
how to harvest seaweed
and how to trust my community
and so much more personal and interpersonal stuff...i cant even get started on that.
just wanted to write about how grateful I am for this special weekend ( in the few minutes i have before meeting someone for pizza and a birthday surprise)
yay!

blissed one day, juiced the next

A weekend without Ama....what should I do?
Well, first I went and camped in my car on the coast with a friend. We picked mushrooms and evergreen huckleberries and ate chile rellenos and ice cream. We ran up dunes, crawled under branches and gazed at the fairytale lagoon.
Back in Eugene, we went to the night of bliss, where we enjoyed all the coconut bliss ice cream we could eat. Yum!
The next day we went to a seed swap, apple pressing party at a barn. I enjoyed taking photos and riding to the event... just before the rain came.

my little busker

Ama has been playing guitar .... well, forever almost. She has always been a little entertainer. The first time she busked ( which means something like semi organized performance for tips, not on a stage) was at the Eugene holiday market 3 years ago. That was when I was sure I needed to live here. I was not the only one inspired to do what I love and share it with the world. People of all ages were at the market sharing hats they crocheted, music they wrote, metal they bent into chains...and Ama demanded to go home and get her guitar so she could preform like the ukulele girl. She told me her dreams of getting a little older and making her own cd's. We sat at the end of the hallway and let her play, just for fun. She played a little and got embarrassed a little. Most of all she was excited and proud.
She plays sporadically. Sometimes she wont touch her guitar for months. I dont want to cross that line of being a pushy mom so she never wants to play again.
I was however, excited when she said recently that she wanted to play at the Saturday market. I said 'ok'. She has played a few times this year. For the most part people love it. She makes a solid 10$ in under an hour doing what she loves.
I dont mind her having a little extra motivation to preform her songs.
She played at an open mic at Eugene Coffee Co. last night. She made up the cutest songs. She always makes up her songs on the spot. What a great quality to have! I will have to get some photos next time.

fall shopping

While Ama was at school yesterday, I ventured out to a store for a few things I've been needing to get. I was going on my third day of wearing a very comfy, cute outfit with layers of blue and pink from head to toe, including my fluffy pink scarf. WHen the worker asked me if I was finding everything, I decided to ask for help with my list since I didnt find either of the 2 things I wanted after 5 minutes of wandering. As the words came out of my mouth, I realized how fishy I sounded...' I'm looking for a machete and duct tape'....
and now today...
I go to Alb looking for 1 specific item. After roaming and browsing and being disgusted by the ingredients of every single thing I picked up, I ask a worker for help. Apparently, supermarkets dont sell vodka. I have to go to the liquor store.
What's that girl in pink gonna do with a machete, duct tape and a huge thing of vodka?
Here's the scoop...
I need to whack down the blackberries in the backyard.
Ama wants to tape together a cardboard box house.
and
I am going to make some tinctures!

nw of normal schooling

Today is walk or bike to school day. I was happy to see only about 20 cars in the school parking lot, and tons of bikes parked. They had to bring in extra bike racks. Actually any typical day, the racks are overflowing , so they were talking about getting more installed anyway.
I am lucky to be able to choose to bike with Ama to school everyday. I chose a close, alternative public school that starts at 9am! (instead of the typical 8am)
Yes, she goes to public school...and almost everyday I am reminded of how different a Eugene public school is. Her school is called the Family School. She is in a multi-age classroom. Aside from that, I imagine, most other things are like the other regular schools around here. On a typical day picking Ama up , I will observe...
red mohawks
pink dreadlocks
piercings
babies in slings
tag along bikes
mismatched clothes
twirly skirts
smiles
hugs
among other things.... and the parents are equally as interesting

Last night Ama told me all about a social disappointment she is going through. Apparently, a girl in her class started a love the earth club. She loved that club when they were doing a recycling project, but then the girl decided to change it to a "sassy" club. They learn how to be "sassy".
As Ama is telling me this, whenever she says "sassy" or other quotes from the club, she holds up her 2 fingers in the " quote position.
I listened for a long time about this whole drama. Finally she decided that maybe she will start a composting club.

les-lies

A few weeks ago, we went to the LV 20th anniversary celebration. I had a few moments of.... overwhelming emotion, but mostly it was a decent visit. At dinner I met a man named jes-ah. WE talked(or should I say, I listened) about names. I was intrigued and followed right along with his stories and plays on words... for the first hour, then I started to lose energy. I really, really liked alot of what he said about how important names are. I've been considering nicknames for a few years, and havent fell in love with one yet. I liked the play on words he used for my name "less lies" ... that is a theme in my life and my quest for honest communication.
He liked how Ama came up with her own nickname and he said that only great beings have the sound 'ah' at the end of their name.

At the circle before dinner, Ray, asked everyone to go around and introduce themselves and their connections to LV. It was a pretty big circle, with a few unknown faces. When it was Ama's turn she told a short version of her story and her connection to LV.... Yes... she said... "we lived here about a year and a half, until we were kicked out.......... there's ants on the bread.."
I was a little embarrassed... but...it is the truth...