inspiration

No, actually I dont think my problem is about inspiration, or even motivation. I am inspired by the beauty around me and the fun excitement happening. Maybe it is a lack of motivation. Maybe its my overwhelming feeling of being overwhelmed. Maybe its priorities...it has been written in my agenda for at least a week to take care of myself; to do something for myself just for the sake of loving myself and getting me back on track with a positive attitude. I put it off just long enough to where my body physically had to say "enough" and knock me to my feet with gut wrenching pain. "OK". I get it. I need to rest. I need to relax and let go. The mexican lunch will be cooked by someone else. Ama is taken care of. I can relax. I can sleep.
3 hour nap
its ok.
everything is ok.
I did however , miss my last chance to cook with N (AKA something cosmic). He is leaving soon. J is leaving sooner. K is leaving. D is leaving. Am I forgetting anyone? So many people are leaving. People who have been here the whole time I have been here. People who seem to make this place Lost valley. People who are extremely loving and compassionate. People who seem to keep this dimming heart of lv beating....