about time

I need to write! It's been over a month and I feel the need to write. I know hardly anyone reads my extremely amateur writing, but I like to do it.
I dont like this feeling of... not having enough time, franticness, stressed... whatever it is. I can be a little grateful for having such a full life... and its also hard to not have 15 minutes to sit down and check the job listings. In the long run I know I need to schedule in this time and make it a priority so I can eventually have a more fulfilling job or even a career.
I hope I sounded ok telling the new seasons deli manager that I havent had 5 minutes to look at other jobs in the company yet. This is the guy that interviewed me recently for a job I thought i would get for sure. And I didnt. And I'm sure there is a good reason in the big scheme of things... but it turns out I was REALLY looking forward to not continuing a few of my cleaning jobs. Now I know that for sure. And, it was a weekend only job, so not getting it meant working more than full time while easing out of my current job, and not getting weekends off for the next 3 months. so, whatever. But the security in working for a company was sounding sooooo nice. benefits are sounding sooo nice. nice and normal.
For now I am manifesting a perfect job at the sellwood new seasons. perfect hours, perfect days, perfect location, perfect job.
I am also grateful for my weekends free
I am grateful I have this nice flexible job in the meantime
I am grateful that I can ride my bike to a few of my jobs (when it stops raining)
I am grateful that my work doesnt even feel like work sometimes and I am usually pleasantly surprised when I get a paycheck
I am also grateful for....
crashing the laughing party
tom kha
circus classes
breaks in the rain
the cayzers
healing times and mystical mysteries
DUP
buddha church
free estate sales
netflix
a lovely midweek day spent with my Ama- even if it included a doctor visit and a few hours at work
an agreeable Ama at the doctor's office
our trip to froyo
and pizzacato
white chocolate croissants and mint mochas
dreams
peoples co-op
kids' apologies and make up hugs
costco guys who have to check my tires every month
dinners with friends
partially lazy weekends