Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither while they pass They slip away across the universe Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting thorough my open mind Possessing and caressing me
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes That call me on and on across the universe Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Sounds of laughter shades
of life are ringing through my open ears exciting and inviting me Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns It calls me on and on across the universe
Jai guru deva om Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Jai guru deva Jai guru deva
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
interns, renterns, infiniterns, externs...
I used to be an intern, therefore, every tuesday I attended the intern gathering. I remember the relief I felt after the first one. I thought ' OK, this is the time and space to connect deeply with others here'. I was having a rough time settling in to a new job, a new place to live, and getting to know 30 new people. That is alot to take in all at once, especially with a 5 year old girl to take care of as well.
Actually I am remembering it was the second intern meeting when K led a Heart of now style gathering. My first meeting was not very eventful, and I remember feeling anxious that there wouldnt be a time and space devoted to connecting with each other.
I later found out that we also have the well being meetings for the whole community. Those were being held every other week, and now they happen every week.
The intern meetings serve other purposes as well. It is a good time to welcome new people, or say goodbye to those who are moving on. Many times when someone is leaving, they get to tell us about the lessons they have learned while being here. Ive got to say, the number 1 thing I hear is the extreme personal growth that has happened for them. Yes, we do permaculture stuff here.... but the biggest lesson people learn here is not typically 'how to compost'. It is more about the social permaculture that we live. The way we live, work and play in the same location. The way we live permaculture principle number 1 " beauty is in the eye of the beholder" ... observing and interacting. They usually describe all the learning they have experienced in *zone 00 (the self).
I have attended the last few intern meetings because...well, I love meetings. And I felt drawn to share myself with the new people in a group setting. And because sometimes the meetings are just too fun to miss.
past meetings have included...
climbing trees
games
personality tests
massages
walking
emotional processing
craft sharing
show and tell
nudity
creek swimming
yoga - i think there was nude yoga once before I got here-
have you worked at a job where these things happen in a typical meeting?
*zones are taught in the permaculture design classes (PDC)
zone 0 includes the home and the self
zone 1 is the immediate perimeter outside of the home where the majority of your time is spent
i think it goes up to zone 5- the higher the number, the least likely you spend any time there.
In phoenix a few of my friends have taught zone 00. It takes 'the self' out of zone 0 and creates a whole new zone. I think thats extremely important to consider. The self should always come first- in a loving way of course.
- i hope i got those zones right! I am a pdc graduate and a half:)
and for the persnickety.....
my reference to the permie principles is from "Permaculture -Principles and Pathways Beyond Sustainability" David Holmgren co originator of the permaculture concept
Actually I am remembering it was the second intern meeting when K led a Heart of now style gathering. My first meeting was not very eventful, and I remember feeling anxious that there wouldnt be a time and space devoted to connecting with each other.
I later found out that we also have the well being meetings for the whole community. Those were being held every other week, and now they happen every week.
The intern meetings serve other purposes as well. It is a good time to welcome new people, or say goodbye to those who are moving on. Many times when someone is leaving, they get to tell us about the lessons they have learned while being here. Ive got to say, the number 1 thing I hear is the extreme personal growth that has happened for them. Yes, we do permaculture stuff here.... but the biggest lesson people learn here is not typically 'how to compost'. It is more about the social permaculture that we live. The way we live, work and play in the same location. The way we live permaculture principle number 1 " beauty is in the eye of the beholder" ... observing and interacting. They usually describe all the learning they have experienced in *zone 00 (the self).
I have attended the last few intern meetings because...well, I love meetings. And I felt drawn to share myself with the new people in a group setting. And because sometimes the meetings are just too fun to miss.
past meetings have included...
climbing trees
games
personality tests
massages
walking
emotional processing
craft sharing
show and tell
nudity
creek swimming
yoga - i think there was nude yoga once before I got here-
have you worked at a job where these things happen in a typical meeting?
*zones are taught in the permaculture design classes (PDC)
zone 0 includes the home and the self
zone 1 is the immediate perimeter outside of the home where the majority of your time is spent
i think it goes up to zone 5- the higher the number, the least likely you spend any time there.
In phoenix a few of my friends have taught zone 00. It takes 'the self' out of zone 0 and creates a whole new zone. I think thats extremely important to consider. The self should always come first- in a loving way of course.
- i hope i got those zones right! I am a pdc graduate and a half:)
and for the persnickety.....
my reference to the permie principles is from "Permaculture -Principles and Pathways Beyond Sustainability" David Holmgren co originator of the permaculture concept
Monday, April 6, 2009
security and expectations
People want to know what they should expect before moving to an ecovillage. I would want to say... 'all of your expectations will be blown out the window'. Sometimes people have expectations because they are missing something in their lives. Someone might move to a farm type ecovillage to have food security because they dont personally have farming skills but they think they can depend on the farmers...and then its a bad growing year, therefore there's little food. The community struggles with buying food, and that person also struggles with the reality of how little security there is in this world.
I dont want to get into what expectations I may or may not have had before moving here. Not right now anyway.
What is the saying...'the only constant thing is change' ?
As I am writing this I wonder if its more about our unconscious expectations. Our unconscious commitments we make to keep ourselves stuck. The ones that make us want to run away from our problems. The patterns that seem to happen over and over no matter who we are with and where we are living.
Its got to be that...
I think :)
All I know is that I made conscious commitments to myself before moving 1000 miles away to an ecovillage. I had to. I knew I couldnt do this irrationally or unconsciously.
My commitments were to learn and grow,
be healthy
have fun
do major personal growth
make friends
be aware
learn learn and more learning in every moment
And all of those expectations are met
and are still being met all the time
And here is my realization....
You can only set expectations for yourself
anything else will be challenged, until you realize, its all about YOU!
The question really is ' what commitments do I have for myself in my life'?
and the security can only come from within
I dont want to get into what expectations I may or may not have had before moving here. Not right now anyway.
What is the saying...'the only constant thing is change' ?
As I am writing this I wonder if its more about our unconscious expectations. Our unconscious commitments we make to keep ourselves stuck. The ones that make us want to run away from our problems. The patterns that seem to happen over and over no matter who we are with and where we are living.
Its got to be that...
I think :)
All I know is that I made conscious commitments to myself before moving 1000 miles away to an ecovillage. I had to. I knew I couldnt do this irrationally or unconsciously.
My commitments were to learn and grow,
be healthy
have fun
do major personal growth
make friends
be aware
learn learn and more learning in every moment
And all of those expectations are met
and are still being met all the time
And here is my realization....
You can only set expectations for yourself
anything else will be challenged, until you realize, its all about YOU!
The question really is ' what commitments do I have for myself in my life'?
and the security can only come from within
Saturday, April 4, 2009
goodbyes and gratitudes
One of the realities of this ecovillage is that people come and go all the time. We all deal with that in our own ways. It is an experiment for me to practice loving and caring in an unattached way. I dont like saying goodbye. I dont like endings. Like Ive mentioned sometime before...sometimes I avoid beginnings just so I can avoid an ending.
I truly enjoy the presence of everyone who stays at LV with me. I do however, keep a distance sometimes. I dont let my love shine through. It has been so amazing though, when I have made deep connections, even temporary ones. Being in the moment, making connections, and moving on when they move on. Lv keeps on running, new people come and fill the open roles, everything is ok. I get hints of sadness reminiscing sometimes, but, there is usually so much going on, I hardly have time for that.
Sometimes I have huge waves of gratefulness flow through me when I think about the people I live with. I want to bring that gratefulness into the moments I share with my friends. I dont want to be grateful after they leave, a week after a conversation we had, or even hours later when I am replaying our interactions. I want to show love and gratitude in the moment.
Because I DO love and appreciate every one of you. --even if it doesnt seem like it.
C- who brings music to the lodge, and a wisdom that few people have
R-witty sarcasm, abundance of knowledge, observation, and seeing thru the games
R-your honesty about the dark side, hugs, couple skating
M-bringing laughter to PC, humor, mouse help, eggs, food, speaking your truth
P-rituals, honesty, openness, strength, acceptance
D- grounding circles, choosing love, earth hour,
J- yoga, connecting, honesty, notes, speaking up, making things happen
J-keeping it all together, relaxing, sauna, skating, singing, working, maintain the balance
C-getting it all together, perseverance, choosing to stay, trusting me, guidance
M-honesty, performance, laughter, hearing me
N- stillness, hugs, asking for what you want,
D-energy, listening, understanding, feeling
K-dancing, love, drumming, hugs, fun, positive
B-welcoming, massage, advice, support, meringue, dj duo, energy, closeness, gifts, being true to yourself, playfulness, haggard,...
thats only the beginning. We have so many new people and so many who left, I can only list a handful of appreciations of the current people ( and 1 who left awhile ago, you know who you are).
So many people and soooo many lessons to learn.
I truly enjoy the presence of everyone who stays at LV with me. I do however, keep a distance sometimes. I dont let my love shine through. It has been so amazing though, when I have made deep connections, even temporary ones. Being in the moment, making connections, and moving on when they move on. Lv keeps on running, new people come and fill the open roles, everything is ok. I get hints of sadness reminiscing sometimes, but, there is usually so much going on, I hardly have time for that.
Sometimes I have huge waves of gratefulness flow through me when I think about the people I live with. I want to bring that gratefulness into the moments I share with my friends. I dont want to be grateful after they leave, a week after a conversation we had, or even hours later when I am replaying our interactions. I want to show love and gratitude in the moment.
Because I DO love and appreciate every one of you. --even if it doesnt seem like it.
C- who brings music to the lodge, and a wisdom that few people have
R-witty sarcasm, abundance of knowledge, observation, and seeing thru the games
R-your honesty about the dark side, hugs, couple skating
M-bringing laughter to PC, humor, mouse help, eggs, food, speaking your truth
P-rituals, honesty, openness, strength, acceptance
D- grounding circles, choosing love, earth hour,
J- yoga, connecting, honesty, notes, speaking up, making things happen
J-keeping it all together, relaxing, sauna, skating, singing, working, maintain the balance
C-getting it all together, perseverance, choosing to stay, trusting me, guidance
M-honesty, performance, laughter, hearing me
N- stillness, hugs, asking for what you want,
D-energy, listening, understanding, feeling
K-dancing, love, drumming, hugs, fun, positive
B-welcoming, massage, advice, support, meringue, dj duo, energy, closeness, gifts, being true to yourself, playfulness, haggard,...
thats only the beginning. We have so many new people and so many who left, I can only list a handful of appreciations of the current people ( and 1 who left awhile ago, you know who you are).
So many people and soooo many lessons to learn.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
more on love
"Life is nothing but a dream,
and if we are artists,
then we create our life with love,
and our dream becomes
a masterpiece of art."
-Don Miguel Ruiz "The Mastery of Love"
There are 2 main sources of emotions..love and all the emotions that come from love, and fear, and all the emotions that come from fear.
Do you want to come from the track of love? or fear?
love has no expectations,
no obligations, and therefore no resistance.
love is based on respect.
love is ruthless, it does not feel sorry for anyone, but it does have compassion.
love is compassion.
love is completely responsible.
love is always kind
love is generous
love is unconditional
I love you for no reason, with no justification.
fear is everything else. I didnt want to list everything that fear is, because really, if you arent living in these loving ways, you are living in fear. Most of us live in fear most of the time, Ruiz would say 90% of the time. I want to live in love more than that! I want to consciously choose the track of love.
How does this relate to LV? I thought that we were an example of living a different lifestyle in all aspects including choosing love over fear. We used to have a workshop here every month called Heart of Now. That was one aspect of the experience of HON. That was part of my reality that I saw whenever I visited LV. I dont see it so much anymore. I see everyone around me choosing fear, hiding, avoiding, demanding, etc. Including me of course. I also see the magic that happens when just 1 person chooses love , even for just a few minutes. I see what happens when I change my attitude. I need to choose that more often.
It is so simple
and yet
it can seem sooooo hard.
If you want to know more about true love, I recommend "The Mastery of Love" chapter 4 the track of love the track of fear. That is where my excerpts came from.
and if we are artists,
then we create our life with love,
and our dream becomes
a masterpiece of art."
-Don Miguel Ruiz "The Mastery of Love"
There are 2 main sources of emotions..love and all the emotions that come from love, and fear, and all the emotions that come from fear.
Do you want to come from the track of love? or fear?
love has no expectations,
no obligations, and therefore no resistance.
love is based on respect.
love is ruthless, it does not feel sorry for anyone, but it does have compassion.
love is compassion.
love is completely responsible.
love is always kind
love is generous
love is unconditional
I love you for no reason, with no justification.
fear is everything else. I didnt want to list everything that fear is, because really, if you arent living in these loving ways, you are living in fear. Most of us live in fear most of the time, Ruiz would say 90% of the time. I want to live in love more than that! I want to consciously choose the track of love.
How does this relate to LV? I thought that we were an example of living a different lifestyle in all aspects including choosing love over fear. We used to have a workshop here every month called Heart of Now. That was one aspect of the experience of HON. That was part of my reality that I saw whenever I visited LV. I dont see it so much anymore. I see everyone around me choosing fear, hiding, avoiding, demanding, etc. Including me of course. I also see the magic that happens when just 1 person chooses love , even for just a few minutes. I see what happens when I change my attitude. I need to choose that more often.
It is so simple
and yet
it can seem sooooo hard.
If you want to know more about true love, I recommend "The Mastery of Love" chapter 4 the track of love the track of fear. That is where my excerpts came from.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
open Mike
On saturday we had an open mic/dance party/ celebration of A. It turned out to be earth hour night as well, so we made it accoustic candle light hour. People cooked, people sang, people hulahooped. Almost everyone was there. It was cool.
but then, just like now, my heart is not into it. I havent written because of that. I sensed something was wrong. Now I know. A crisis has 'allegedly' been averted. One of the many imagined crises that goes on here when we forget how powerful our postivie thoughts can be. We are losing our heart- The love that has gotten LV by for 20 years. When we can remember the love, nothing is wrong. Fear can destroy. This "crisis" was personal. It has affected me and the people around, and LV, as its own living being. The destruction left behind from this imagined drama, feels so real. I need to choose love for myself, and hope that everyone else and this land we enjoy, chooses the same... so we dont all break down in destruction and fear.
Love means - Love means to always say YES, Love means to always give all, Love means to always absorb all, Love means to be toy of love and playground of love, ...
Love means to be the playground for your love
oneLove means to be the playground for all your children
Love means to be best friend of all
Love means you can say to your loved oneI am yours - my body heart and soul is yours
to do with love
to do for love
to explore love
to create love
to enjoy love
anything you do for true love as the only reason, purpose or goal always is fine,
to feel your joy of love
I love to feel your happiness i can create within you
true love has no limits hence has no doors
are you sure your loved one knows all that
did you ever offer all what you are - as what God made you - Female or Male
maybe YOU start NOW to offer shared learning of love ?
but then, just like now, my heart is not into it. I havent written because of that. I sensed something was wrong. Now I know. A crisis has 'allegedly' been averted. One of the many imagined crises that goes on here when we forget how powerful our postivie thoughts can be. We are losing our heart- The love that has gotten LV by for 20 years. When we can remember the love, nothing is wrong. Fear can destroy. This "crisis" was personal. It has affected me and the people around, and LV, as its own living being. The destruction left behind from this imagined drama, feels so real. I need to choose love for myself, and hope that everyone else and this land we enjoy, chooses the same... so we dont all break down in destruction and fear.
Love means - Love means to always say YES, Love means to always give all, Love means to always absorb all, Love means to be toy of love and playground of love, ...
Love means to be the playground for your love
oneLove means to be the playground for all your children
Love means to be best friend of all
Love means you can say to your loved oneI am yours - my body heart and soul is yours
to do with love
to do for love
to explore love
to create love
to enjoy love
anything you do for true love as the only reason, purpose or goal always is fine,
to feel your joy of love
I love to feel your happiness i can create within you
true love has no limits hence has no doors
are you sure your loved one knows all that
did you ever offer all what you are - as what God made you - Female or Male
maybe YOU start NOW to offer shared learning of love ?
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