relevant

Finally, a relevant post. I am in the midst of planning a summer adventure! Just like the title of my blog... watch out communities , here we come!
Here is my brief letter I am sending out to farms...

Adventure with a purpose (or 2)

My name is Leslie. I have an 8year old daughter named Ama and we are ready to go on another adventure. We have two objectives in mind.

1. to visit farm communities in the hopes to find a great match for a long term commitment

2. to learn more hands on skills ( a sort of unschooling summer trip)

We have lived and worked in other communities such as Lost Valley in Oregon and the Ecohood in Phoenix. We have experience teaching permaculture classes... yes, Ama has helped her dad teach the backyard chicken classes for the Phoenix Permaculture Guild! I developed and taught a class called “Kids in Community” for the PDC in Phoenix and at Lost Valley. I also have experience Wwoofing on a blueberry farm, where I learned everything from mulching, to picking, to packing and selling at the Newport farmers market.

We would like to visit for a few days in July or August.

Please let me know your availability, and I will let you know more specific times when my plan comes together more.

Thank you!
Leslie and Ama

prplwmn@gmail.com

I am signed up to wwoof again this year (thats a work trade program), so I have the book and I am sending this email out to a few places every day. There are a ton of great looking places, but with differing schedules and needs of each place I am guessing if I sent out 20 emails it is possible only a handful will work out.
by the way... YAY I am taking 2 months off to explore!
I have 2 months to visit everyone from Bellingham down to Sacramento and maybe even all the way to phx --that might take some convincing in 120 degree heat-- but, go ahead and convince me! If you want us to visit, let me know soon, so I can plan it in.
also, if you know any cool communities or farms for us to visit, let me know, or pass on my letter to them.
thank you!
hope to see you soon!

about time

I need to write! It's been over a month and I feel the need to write. I know hardly anyone reads my extremely amateur writing, but I like to do it.
I dont like this feeling of... not having enough time, franticness, stressed... whatever it is. I can be a little grateful for having such a full life... and its also hard to not have 15 minutes to sit down and check the job listings. In the long run I know I need to schedule in this time and make it a priority so I can eventually have a more fulfilling job or even a career.
I hope I sounded ok telling the new seasons deli manager that I havent had 5 minutes to look at other jobs in the company yet. This is the guy that interviewed me recently for a job I thought i would get for sure. And I didnt. And I'm sure there is a good reason in the big scheme of things... but it turns out I was REALLY looking forward to not continuing a few of my cleaning jobs. Now I know that for sure. And, it was a weekend only job, so not getting it meant working more than full time while easing out of my current job, and not getting weekends off for the next 3 months. so, whatever. But the security in working for a company was sounding sooooo nice. benefits are sounding sooo nice. nice and normal.
For now I am manifesting a perfect job at the sellwood new seasons. perfect hours, perfect days, perfect location, perfect job.
I am also grateful for my weekends free
I am grateful I have this nice flexible job in the meantime
I am grateful that I can ride my bike to a few of my jobs (when it stops raining)
I am grateful that my work doesnt even feel like work sometimes and I am usually pleasantly surprised when I get a paycheck
I am also grateful for....
crashing the laughing party
tom kha
circus classes
breaks in the rain
the cayzers
healing times and mystical mysteries
DUP
buddha church
free estate sales
netflix
a lovely midweek day spent with my Ama- even if it included a doctor visit and a few hours at work
an agreeable Ama at the doctor's office
our trip to froyo
and pizzacato
white chocolate croissants and mint mochas
dreams
peoples co-op
kids' apologies and make up hugs
costco guys who have to check my tires every month
dinners with friends
partially lazy weekends

it's all connected

bathrooms, aliens, fear, protector, Lost Valley, dreams, people....

I finally heard her dream. Her 'bad dream' that she has been mentioning for 3 years, but never wanted to tell me. She said it was too bad to tell me. It is too scary.
She still didnt tell me, but I overheard her story when she pulled her friend aside to tell him. She walked round the corner about 10 feet away and proceeded to tell her story, quite loudly.
I think she may have wanted me to hear.
I hope that she is getting the healing she needs from finally sharing her dream with me.
I can only guess what it all means, but it seems pretty clear. It is all coming together. Her strong desire to protect me, her fear of people and bathrooms...
I have done my best to make different healing options available... I let her know she can tell me or tell someone else her dreams, I gave her space to not tell me, I offered for her to explore painting it out, I had a healer to come do reiki with her, I brought in some Taras to protect her, my friend Tara :) brought in some angels to help her, I give her fish oils in her juice, I buy her healing stones, we light candles...
and on and on
I guess that day that she told me she had a bad dream and I held her and listened to what she would share with me, I had no idea we would still be working through it 3 years later.
I guess that's life
at least today

on hold

Sometimes it seems like I am living the wrong life. Or like my life is on hold. Maybe I will get to do all the things I want to do, but for some reason it seems unlikely that I can do what I want to do. It is possible I just need to be patient and work on getting to where I want to be. Its possible. Maybe it's weird that I feel this way. I have done alot of cool things. It just seems like Ama is at an age that she needs to have more stability and I actually want that too, but I also want to travel. I dont see a way to get both of our needs met with the resources I have right now. That frustrates me and then I feel stuck. I want to be able to have a seasonal job, or work a month in an ashram, then work a month on a farm, then work a month in Ireland... or whatever.
I also think I may have made some mistakes. I used to make 8times what I make now. I am extemely low income and dont really see myself getting out of that. I cant travel with a child, with no income. I cant just be a traveling gypsy in a covered wagon in this day and age... although that is something else I would really like to do as well.
I feel stuck in the middle.

conclusion

On January 28th, 2011, I came to a conclusion. After years of extensive research, observation, and reading , I decided that this concept of loving yourself will make others like you, is simply not true. I believed the theories out there. It's a great concept in an ideal world... a world where everything is purple and pink with flowers and unicorns and frolicking under rainbows. Sure , if I decide to see the world through these rainbow colored glasses, then it might make it true in my own little world. If I imagine everyone loves me, then in my head it is true.
I dont see that happening in reality though until everyone, or lets say over half of everyone, puts on the same peace, love and rainbow glasses too.
In reality, there are many people wearing poop colored glasses (I am borrowing this term from Kaseja at Heart of Now).
Believing in these theories helped me learn to love myself more, and put me on this path and its great. I have faith that the more we all concentrate on world peace, it will happen. My outlook is positive, and, realistic.
I have experimented with loving myself in order to attract loving people. Maybe, I was around the wrong people in the first place? , but my lack of social skills is what I see turning people off. No matter how loving the person isand no matter how much I love myself, if I dont do the right small talk, they move on in most cases.
On the other end, I have been in horrible moods, not liking my life and good things have happened to me.
Until we are all peaceful Buddha like people, we will be attracted to the good conversationalists, who entertain us or know how to compliment us, and not attracted to those who seem different, wrong or bad.
We all have golden hearts with pure loving intentions when you take all the other crap away.

creeks, flowers and lattes

I am equally content with so many things, it seems impossible to make a decision. I really love where I am living right now. I love being in a neighborhood. I love sitting at my desk, looking out the window and seeing the guy who built a canoe attached to his bike, walk by. I wonder where his boat/bike is. I love riding my bike down the street and recognizing a FB friend who I have not yet met in person. I love walking around the corner to get a 2$ latte. In the spring I will love it even more when my walk to the creek includes being showered by pink petals from the trees.
And... I really love living in nature. I loved living in a little cabin in the woods. I loved walking down to the swimming hole to sit and breathe. I loved cooking for my community mates. I loved the daily social opportunities living with 15-80 other people in the forest.
Ideally I would find the perfect blend of these 2. I want to find an acre, in the city and invite my friends to live with me. I think it would be an ideal way to live a permaculture life. I want 1 main, big, community house... and then a lovely outdoor house with a kitchen and shower and composting toilet... and small living areas scattered around like huts, tee pees, tents, cobs, strawbales, treehouses and containers....
I want to be by a creek and/or open space. We will have fruit trees, berries, grapes, and other foods growing.
We will live very simply, and still be able to walk down the street and get a latte :)

current events

I get most of my news from my clients. I was asked yesterday "do you keep up with ANY current events?" I'm not really sure how to answer that. My current events involve getting Ama to school, or who's bathroom did I clean today, or how many piles of leaves did I rake, or does my friend need emotional support, or when is Ama having a playdate... etc.
I dont have a tv. I dont get the paper. I dont browse the internet news.
I sometimes listen to NPR. I read a facebook post here or there. I listen to my friends opinions.
'Did you hear what that guy said, who was in Iraq, but left and did that thing last year?'
umm, no
that is 1 reason why I dont keep up with current events... thats how I would sound if I tried talking about it. That is pretty much what my client asked me. And... is it a current event if it was last year?
I can hardly keep up with my current events, I cant keep up with every politician, celebrity, or anything else.
Is that bad?
I dont think so. I get a little embarrased. People somehow then assume I am dumb and thats annoying. Or they assume I am not interested. I am. I can listen to people and their opinions all day. But there are very few things I have strong opinions on, so asking me my opinion... might sound something like
'oh, uuuh , yeah, that guy did that, ok. I guess that worked for him. I hope he is happy with that choice'