minor breakdown

I am freaking out. Birds are falling out of the sky, I am sitting here alone, I feel like a mess, I need connection, my kid seems possessed, I drive too far to work, I need to shave, I only want pizza-ice cream-and mochas, I have rent to pay, I need a career, I want to watch tv all day, I want to knit all day, I created a monster, and birds are falling out of the sky!
The birds are dying, the fish are dying... it reminds me of the squirrels around here in the fall... they were dying too- just like they died in mid nut hunt.
There is a group that believes that jesus comes back on May 21 2011. That is judgement day. So, guess what, if you are still around after that, you didnt get into heaven!
I almost have the capability to formulate my ideas about how this ties into the Buddhist perspective. Almost.
I should just meditate all day
maybe I can save myself from the earth hell they say will happen after 5-21-11
Why is it all 21's?
Why is the end of the world allegedly on my birthday?
12-21-12
Why does it seem like meditating wont help
Maybe this is too crazy to post?
oh well, I will just have to make a gratitude list tomorrow to make up for it