a quick bit about solstice....
what a great weekend! a friend held a primitive skills solstice gathering at his home. thats where Ive been for the last few days.
I learned
to knit
how to harvest seaweed
and how to trust my community
and so much more personal and interpersonal stuff...i cant even get started on that.
just wanted to write about how grateful I am for this special weekend ( in the few minutes i have before meeting someone for pizza and a birthday surprise)
yay!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
blissed one day, juiced the next
A weekend without Ama....what should I do?
Well, first I went and camped in my car on the coast with a friend. We picked mushrooms and evergreen huckleberries and ate chile rellenos and ice cream. We ran up dunes, crawled under branches and gazed at the fairytale lagoon.
Back in Eugene, we went to the night of bliss, where we enjoyed all the coconut bliss ice cream we could eat. Yum!
The next day we went to a seed swap, apple pressing party at a barn. I enjoyed taking photos and riding to the event... just before the rain came.
Well, first I went and camped in my car on the coast with a friend. We picked mushrooms and evergreen huckleberries and ate chile rellenos and ice cream. We ran up dunes, crawled under branches and gazed at the fairytale lagoon.
Back in Eugene, we went to the night of bliss, where we enjoyed all the coconut bliss ice cream we could eat. Yum!
The next day we went to a seed swap, apple pressing party at a barn. I enjoyed taking photos and riding to the event... just before the rain came.
Friday, October 23, 2009
my little busker
Ama has been playing guitar .... well, forever almost. She has always been a little entertainer. The first time she busked ( which means something like semi organized performance for tips, not on a stage) was at the Eugene holiday market 3 years ago. That was when I was sure I needed to live here. I was not the only one inspired to do what I love and share it with the world. People of all ages were at the market sharing hats they crocheted, music they wrote, metal they bent into chains...and Ama demanded to go home and get her guitar so she could preform like the ukulele girl. She told me her dreams of getting a little older and making her own cd's. We sat at the end of the hallway and let her play, just for fun. She played a little and got embarrassed a little. Most of all she was excited and proud.
She plays sporadically. Sometimes she wont touch her guitar for months. I dont want to cross that line of being a pushy mom so she never wants to play again.
I was however, excited when she said recently that she wanted to play at the Saturday market. I said 'ok'. She has played a few times this year. For the most part people love it. She makes a solid 10$ in under an hour doing what she loves.
I dont mind her having a little extra motivation to preform her songs.
She played at an open mic at Eugene Coffee Co. last night. She made up the cutest songs. She always makes up her songs on the spot. What a great quality to have! I will have to get some photos next time.
She plays sporadically. Sometimes she wont touch her guitar for months. I dont want to cross that line of being a pushy mom so she never wants to play again.
I was however, excited when she said recently that she wanted to play at the Saturday market. I said 'ok'. She has played a few times this year. For the most part people love it. She makes a solid 10$ in under an hour doing what she loves.
I dont mind her having a little extra motivation to preform her songs.
She played at an open mic at Eugene Coffee Co. last night. She made up the cutest songs. She always makes up her songs on the spot. What a great quality to have! I will have to get some photos next time.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
fall shopping
While Ama was at school yesterday, I ventured out to a store for a few things I've been needing to get. I was going on my third day of wearing a very comfy, cute outfit with layers of blue and pink from head to toe, including my fluffy pink scarf. WHen the worker asked me if I was finding everything, I decided to ask for help with my list since I didnt find either of the 2 things I wanted after 5 minutes of wandering. As the words came out of my mouth, I realized how fishy I sounded...' I'm looking for a machete and duct tape'....
and now today...
I go to Alb looking for 1 specific item. After roaming and browsing and being disgusted by the ingredients of every single thing I picked up, I ask a worker for help. Apparently, supermarkets dont sell vodka. I have to go to the liquor store.
What's that girl in pink gonna do with a machete, duct tape and a huge thing of vodka?
Here's the scoop...
I need to whack down the blackberries in the backyard.
Ama wants to tape together a cardboard box house.
and
I am going to make some tinctures!
and now today...
I go to Alb looking for 1 specific item. After roaming and browsing and being disgusted by the ingredients of every single thing I picked up, I ask a worker for help. Apparently, supermarkets dont sell vodka. I have to go to the liquor store.
What's that girl in pink gonna do with a machete, duct tape and a huge thing of vodka?
Here's the scoop...
I need to whack down the blackberries in the backyard.
Ama wants to tape together a cardboard box house.
and
I am going to make some tinctures!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
nw of normal schooling
Today is walk or bike to school day. I was happy to see only about 20 cars in the school parking lot, and tons of bikes parked. They had to bring in extra bike racks. Actually any typical day, the racks are overflowing , so they were talking about getting more installed anyway.
I am lucky to be able to choose to bike with Ama to school everyday. I chose a close, alternative public school that starts at 9am! (instead of the typical 8am)
Yes, she goes to public school...and almost everyday I am reminded of how different a Eugene public school is. Her school is called the Family School. She is in a multi-age classroom. Aside from that, I imagine, most other things are like the other regular schools around here. On a typical day picking Ama up , I will observe...
red mohawks
pink dreadlocks
piercings
babies in slings
tag along bikes
mismatched clothes
twirly skirts
smiles
hugs
among other things.... and the parents are equally as interesting
Last night Ama told me all about a social disappointment she is going through. Apparently, a girl in her class started a love the earth club. She loved that club when they were doing a recycling project, but then the girl decided to change it to a "sassy" club. They learn how to be "sassy".
As Ama is telling me this, whenever she says "sassy" or other quotes from the club, she holds up her 2 fingers in the " quote position.
I listened for a long time about this whole drama. Finally she decided that maybe she will start a composting club.
I am lucky to be able to choose to bike with Ama to school everyday. I chose a close, alternative public school that starts at 9am! (instead of the typical 8am)
Yes, she goes to public school...and almost everyday I am reminded of how different a Eugene public school is. Her school is called the Family School. She is in a multi-age classroom. Aside from that, I imagine, most other things are like the other regular schools around here. On a typical day picking Ama up , I will observe...
red mohawks
pink dreadlocks
piercings
babies in slings
tag along bikes
mismatched clothes
twirly skirts
smiles
hugs
among other things.... and the parents are equally as interesting
Last night Ama told me all about a social disappointment she is going through. Apparently, a girl in her class started a love the earth club. She loved that club when they were doing a recycling project, but then the girl decided to change it to a "sassy" club. They learn how to be "sassy".
As Ama is telling me this, whenever she says "sassy" or other quotes from the club, she holds up her 2 fingers in the " quote position.
I listened for a long time about this whole drama. Finally she decided that maybe she will start a composting club.
Monday, October 5, 2009
les-lies
A few weeks ago, we went to the LV 20th anniversary celebration. I had a few moments of.... overwhelming emotion, but mostly it was a decent visit. At dinner I met a man named jes-ah. WE talked(or should I say, I listened) about names. I was intrigued and followed right along with his stories and plays on words... for the first hour, then I started to lose energy. I really, really liked alot of what he said about how important names are. I've been considering nicknames for a few years, and havent fell in love with one yet. I liked the play on words he used for my name "less lies" ... that is a theme in my life and my quest for honest communication.
He liked how Ama came up with her own nickname and he said that only great beings have the sound 'ah' at the end of their name.
At the circle before dinner, Ray, asked everyone to go around and introduce themselves and their connections to LV. It was a pretty big circle, with a few unknown faces. When it was Ama's turn she told a short version of her story and her connection to LV.... Yes... she said... "we lived here about a year and a half, until we were kicked out.......... there's ants on the bread.."
I was a little embarrassed... but...it is the truth...
He liked how Ama came up with her own nickname and he said that only great beings have the sound 'ah' at the end of their name.
At the circle before dinner, Ray, asked everyone to go around and introduce themselves and their connections to LV. It was a pretty big circle, with a few unknown faces. When it was Ama's turn she told a short version of her story and her connection to LV.... Yes... she said... "we lived here about a year and a half, until we were kicked out.......... there's ants on the bread.."
I was a little embarrassed... but...it is the truth...
Monday, September 21, 2009
fern hill
We took a trip out to fern hill nursery this weekend for their equinox open house. My first thought was 'why does every community we visit involve at least 1/2 a mile on a bumpy, 1 lane, dirt road, uphill'? This is a small community, just a few people who live and work with the nursery. It was a beautiful permaculture example. The main reason I went, aside from just wanting to see it, was the apple press. The ad said to bring apples and jars to make cider! Yum! We harvested apples from a tree at a vacant house on my street the day before... now that was a sight to see. I borrowed a ladder from my step dad, and rode my bike, carrying it down the street!
free apples
cider press
mmmmm fresh squeezed apple juice in the morning!
pictures will follow
free apples
cider press
mmmmm fresh squeezed apple juice in the morning!
pictures will follow
Thursday, September 10, 2009
slugs and stuff
I have lived here so many summers, and somehow, this was my first time attending the annual slug queen pageant. Amazingly enough, this event was one of those little things I heard about Eugene that made me want to live here. That, and another story Laurie Notaro told about a family biking down the road; one person with a violin, one with a basket of fruit, and one with a chicken. Laurie is my favorite silly comedian author who moved from Phx to Eugene years ago.
Yes, these were the first things I heard about this town that made me think..hmmm, I think I want to live there too.
that is how I started creating this reality I am now living.
Sometimes I am reminded how crazy it is. How I started it all...and because of the slugs!?
Now, I am here. My mom, step dad and sister are here. I easily made a circle of friends who understand me. Ama is here, loving it. Her dad is finally moving closer to us. My traveling friends wander through and spend time with me.
I am surrounded by beauty.
yet I struggle
I busy myself and forget to enjoy the moment.
I get so stressed and so tired I miss events, I dont feel like being social and feel disconnected.
And sometimes, even with the stress , and headaches, and full body tiredness...I force myself to go out and connect.
Thats how I ended up at the slug fest. I am so glad I went. I dont think I could describe the eugene sillyness that happens at the slug queen coronation...singing, dancing, guys in dresses, bribery, community, comedy.
Synergy was happening that evening.
I ran into 2 other families that I need to keep in my network of non mainstream people to meet up with.
and now...
Ama dreams of being the slug queen!
Yes, these were the first things I heard about this town that made me think..hmmm, I think I want to live there too.
that is how I started creating this reality I am now living.
Sometimes I am reminded how crazy it is. How I started it all...and because of the slugs!?
Now, I am here. My mom, step dad and sister are here. I easily made a circle of friends who understand me. Ama is here, loving it. Her dad is finally moving closer to us. My traveling friends wander through and spend time with me.
I am surrounded by beauty.
yet I struggle
I busy myself and forget to enjoy the moment.
I get so stressed and so tired I miss events, I dont feel like being social and feel disconnected.
And sometimes, even with the stress , and headaches, and full body tiredness...I force myself to go out and connect.
Thats how I ended up at the slug fest. I am so glad I went. I dont think I could describe the eugene sillyness that happens at the slug queen coronation...singing, dancing, guys in dresses, bribery, community, comedy.
Synergy was happening that evening.
I ran into 2 other families that I need to keep in my network of non mainstream people to meet up with.
and now...
Ama dreams of being the slug queen!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
SE portland
A lovely couple of friends took us in this weekend so we could participate in a dance flashmob in Portland. They live in this great family friendly neighborhood that gets together every year for a block party. They also have a yearly camp out trip and many spontaneous encounters, play dates, meals and conversations. I need to look into it more, but one of the friends I stayed with has been a leader in starting the transition town concept.
http://www.thedirt.org/tpdx
http://www.transitiontowns.org/
http://www.thedirt.org/tpdx
http://www.transitiontowns.org/
Saturday, September 5, 2009
2 months
Its been 2 months since I left LV. I am still recovering. I've heard that when you are in a relationship that ends, it takes 1 month for every year you were together, to get over the break up. With that theory, I should be over it pretty soon.
LV always seemed like this entity that I married in to. It is a major commitment to move into a community. Its like a marriage between 15-30 other people, who should all have the choice to know what they are getting into.
That would be a conscious way to invite a mother and child into your home.
I'm not over it yet; the millions of feelings I have about my 13 months living, working and playing there in the permie lifestyle way.
the miscommunications or non communications,
betrayal, nonacceptance, inefficiencies, fake smiles,
hugs, laughter, healthy food, drumming.....
i could go on forever
Although I miss it, I will not go back. I chose to leave and not fight the 1 or 2 people who fought for us to leave. I gave in, in the hopes of something better.
Oh! I hope there is something better.
"In stark contrast to a trust in our inherent worth, we were exiled from the garden of Eden. Because of our flawed nature, we do not deserve happiness or to be loved, at ease with life. We are outcasts, and if we are to reenter the garden we must redeem our sinful selves. We must overcome our flaws by controlling our bodies, controlling our emotions, controlling other people. And we must strive tirelessly-working,achieving, and rushing- in a never ending quest to prove ourselves once and for all."
(an almost quote from "Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach)
I thought
I really thought, that LV would be past these mainstream paradigms.
LV always seemed like this entity that I married in to. It is a major commitment to move into a community. Its like a marriage between 15-30 other people, who should all have the choice to know what they are getting into.
That would be a conscious way to invite a mother and child into your home.
I'm not over it yet; the millions of feelings I have about my 13 months living, working and playing there in the permie lifestyle way.
the miscommunications or non communications,
betrayal, nonacceptance, inefficiencies, fake smiles,
hugs, laughter, healthy food, drumming.....
i could go on forever
Although I miss it, I will not go back. I chose to leave and not fight the 1 or 2 people who fought for us to leave. I gave in, in the hopes of something better.
Oh! I hope there is something better.
"In stark contrast to a trust in our inherent worth, we were exiled from the garden of Eden. Because of our flawed nature, we do not deserve happiness or to be loved, at ease with life. We are outcasts, and if we are to reenter the garden we must redeem our sinful selves. We must overcome our flaws by controlling our bodies, controlling our emotions, controlling other people. And we must strive tirelessly-working,achieving, and rushing- in a never ending quest to prove ourselves once and for all."
(an almost quote from "Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach)
I thought
I really thought, that LV would be past these mainstream paradigms.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
enough about pigs
and nutria, and goats, and tons of blue jays that I see and hear around town...
We are settling in to our new room at a permaculture house in Eugene. I cant describe how much Ama loves taking care of the chickens and doing other meaningful work around the house. She also loves riding her bike, and her newest favorite thing is to play guitar at the farmer's market.
We are settling in to our new room at a permaculture house in Eugene. I cant describe how much Ama loves taking care of the chickens and doing other meaningful work around the house. She also loves riding her bike, and her newest favorite thing is to play guitar at the farmer's market.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
invasive pigs...
http://extension.oregonstate.edu/news/story.php?S_No=361&storyType=news
for those who dont believe
someone also said that those crazy rat things that live in the rivers...what are they called? well, I heard that those might snort and grunt too.
for those who dont believe
someone also said that those crazy rat things that live in the rivers...what are they called? well, I heard that those might snort and grunt too.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
random encounters
A man playing keyboard by the the farmers market.
A guy who lives next to the community leaf pile.
A lady who has turned her yard into edible landscaping.
An alley that was turned into a neighborhood garden.
free boxes
free fruit and veggies
free piles
A guy who lives next to the community leaf pile.
A lady who has turned her yard into edible landscaping.
An alley that was turned into a neighborhood garden.
free boxes
free fruit and veggies
free piles
Friday, August 7, 2009
camp out
I am camping in my moms backyard this week with Ama. I am grateful to be sleeping in the fresh, cool air. I've had some interesting encounters that just dont happen when you sleep in a house. The first night I actually slept on the porch. I woke up when I heard an animal walking around. It sounded larger than a cat, so I got up and looked. It was a raccoon! Two raccoons. I sat on the porch amused for awhile, then tried to go back to sleep, until something pounced on my feet! That was just the cat, luckily. Last night, I heard a ruckus coming from the alley. It sounded like squirrels fighting- a bunch of squirrels fighting. I kept looking in the direction and the sound quickly approached...little dark squealing things ran by....snorting! They ran by so fast I didnt confirm my idea, but, Im pretty sure they were wild pigs. The fun didnt end there. A little later the raccoon family stopped by for a dip in the kiddie pool!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
split up
Our duo is split up this week. Ama is going to gymnastics camp, which is giving me alot of freetime. I am not used to having so many hours to myself during the day. So, while she has been causing mayhem on the trampolines, I have done a bunch of stuff. I got paid to pick some blueberries, did some work trade for a class I took, planted a garden and finally talked to my best friend! Next on the list to do, sign Ama up for school, work on my photos, and maybe sign up for school myself.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
free day
One day while we were in Seattle, we decided to have a free day. Our goal was to spend the least amount of money possible. We started out by mapping some good spots to dumpster dive at. First stop-a bread bakery. Its funny how we ended up exactly where we needed to be, even though I dont know all the streets in Seattle. Sometimes I would just turn down a street and run right into the place we wanted to go. That happened at the bread dumpster. "Oh, there it is!" Three huge dumpster were filled with day old bread. Dont ask me why they dont make less bread, or donate the edible leftovers. I have no idea. We filled up the front seat with rosemary ciabatta, olive bread, sliced whole grain etc. Next we encountered the Fremont market and decided to browse. Little did we know that the end of the market was where the chocolate factory dumpster was. The dumpsters were locked , but we did go inside and enjoy some free samples. We bought some soup for lunch. Next we went to a recommended supermarket dumpter and got some broccoli and cauliflower that we cooked up that night with some friends.
It was a lovely free day.
It was a lovely free day.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
holy roller
I've been needing a nickname and one appeared for me today. The holy roller. It can be my kitchen nickname. It was given to me by a fellow kitchen worker here at the Bullock Permaculture farm. She is an intern here, and I am only here for a week or 2 or 3. We made a greek feast. I worked with M rolling the falafel. Apparently I am a good falafel roller. I like the name also because it could have a double meaning... it could also be my roller skating name! I love skating.
I feel a little better about being here today because I have been working in the kitchen, I finally met some of the bullock boys, I got some laundry done, sent a bunch of emails about future jobs, and I ventured into the town of eastsound and got an organic mocha. Oh and knowing that there arent bears here is good too; I got a full nights sleep.
I feel a little better about being here today because I have been working in the kitchen, I finally met some of the bullock boys, I got some laundry done, sent a bunch of emails about future jobs, and I ventured into the town of eastsound and got an organic mocha. Oh and knowing that there arent bears here is good too; I got a full nights sleep.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
beaches and waterfalls and bears o my
We ventured from the portland beaches to the waterfalls in the columbia gorge for a night of camping with our friend Kosuke. We went in to town for a greasy dinner with a marshmallow malt dessert. The tourist attraction out there is Multnomah falls... everyone goes there. It was crowded and we became a spectacle when we found the thimble berries. Thimbleberries are my favorite, so of course I had to eat them. Of course I had to climb up the side of the railing to get to some, even in a dress. Then Ama joined in. Then people started to look and wonder what we were doing.
After the falls, we headed north towards Orcas Island. Little did I know it would take ALL day to get to our destination, the Bullock Permaculture Homestead. I knew we needed to take a ferry. I didnt know it would cost 40$!
More surprises ensued the next few days.
but
the ferry ride was cool
and the islands are beautiful
The biggest surprise of all came last night when I was awoken by sticks cracking underneath very big sounding feet. I thought it was a bear. it was right outside my tent. It sounded huge and close. Then I heard another one on the other side of my tent. I listened for awhile, then I started asking if anyone was awake. over and over and over. I didnt know what to do. Finally I woke up Ama and talked to her about the situation. She made the finally decision. Yes, we should go sleep in the car.
The next morning our tent looked unharmed, our legs were numb and I found out that there are no bears on the island.
If it wasnt a bear it must have been Big foot.
After the falls, we headed north towards Orcas Island. Little did I know it would take ALL day to get to our destination, the Bullock Permaculture Homestead. I knew we needed to take a ferry. I didnt know it would cost 40$!
More surprises ensued the next few days.
but
the ferry ride was cool
and the islands are beautiful
The biggest surprise of all came last night when I was awoken by sticks cracking underneath very big sounding feet. I thought it was a bear. it was right outside my tent. It sounded huge and close. Then I heard another one on the other side of my tent. I listened for awhile, then I started asking if anyone was awake. over and over and over. I didnt know what to do. Finally I woke up Ama and talked to her about the situation. She made the finally decision. Yes, we should go sleep in the car.
The next morning our tent looked unharmed, our legs were numb and I found out that there are no bears on the island.
If it wasnt a bear it must have been Big foot.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
a hidden treasure
Ama and I are staying in Portland, pet sitting for a friend. In the last few days we have made pirate treasure maps, shopped at S.C.R.A.P., visited the Saturday market, picked 14 lbs of beautiful bluberries, and sat on an island beach. This almost sounds like a daydream.
This beach I found today, is one that I almost hesitate to share. It was like our own little private haven in the middle of a city. Actually, it was. It was just me, Ama, sailboats, sand, water and the clouds. I sat in the shade with my book, while she built a 2ft high castle.
Maybe if you are lucky, I will take you sometime...
This beach I found today, is one that I almost hesitate to share. It was like our own little private haven in the middle of a city. Actually, it was. It was just me, Ama, sailboats, sand, water and the clouds. I sat in the shade with my book, while she built a 2ft high castle.
Maybe if you are lucky, I will take you sometime...
Sunday, July 12, 2009
always a reason
There is a reason why I haven't written anything in awhile. I think. I think it's a good reason, or maybe its just an excuse.
I have not been in the mood to write silly things about LV. I guess I could have written about permaculture then... but I just chose not to write at all.
I have been in survival mode; barely getting by; attending to important, urgent matters and of course saving time for escaping from reality by watching movies, reading books or picking berries.
I prefer a little more security in my world than I have right now. I was asked to leave LV because of my "disrespectful, destructive" 6 year old girl. This is essentially a big slap in the face to my parenting as well. Being told to leave for me, meant that I was soon to be a homeless, jobless, single parent.
Luckily, it also meant a chance at new opportunities. I was not quite ready to leave, but it was a nudge ( or a big fat push off of a mountain) in the direction to better things. This is what I am still hoping anyway. I am fine right now. I know I'll be fine for the next few weeks, I have places to stay. I would like something more permanent though. I know that there is no security in this world, anything can change at any moment, and, I choose to have a stable home base. I am waiting to see exactly where that will be. I am doing my best to be patient and still believe that everything happens for a reason and that everything will be fine. It always works out. Everything always works out perfectly.
The problem is the solution... right? (have to throw in a permie statement)
So
Now I am going to need a real name for this blog. I want a cool gimmicky name. Any ideas?
and
what will it be about? just whatever I am doing? what do i do anyway?
maybe thats the gimmick
'proof that I do something'
or
'northwest of normal'
'who are the people in my neighborhood'
'socially permie'
we'll see how I feel about any of these tomorrow
I have not been in the mood to write silly things about LV. I guess I could have written about permaculture then... but I just chose not to write at all.
I have been in survival mode; barely getting by; attending to important, urgent matters and of course saving time for escaping from reality by watching movies, reading books or picking berries.
I prefer a little more security in my world than I have right now. I was asked to leave LV because of my "disrespectful, destructive" 6 year old girl. This is essentially a big slap in the face to my parenting as well. Being told to leave for me, meant that I was soon to be a homeless, jobless, single parent.
Luckily, it also meant a chance at new opportunities. I was not quite ready to leave, but it was a nudge ( or a big fat push off of a mountain) in the direction to better things. This is what I am still hoping anyway. I am fine right now. I know I'll be fine for the next few weeks, I have places to stay. I would like something more permanent though. I know that there is no security in this world, anything can change at any moment, and, I choose to have a stable home base. I am waiting to see exactly where that will be. I am doing my best to be patient and still believe that everything happens for a reason and that everything will be fine. It always works out. Everything always works out perfectly.
The problem is the solution... right? (have to throw in a permie statement)
So
Now I am going to need a real name for this blog. I want a cool gimmicky name. Any ideas?
and
what will it be about? just whatever I am doing? what do i do anyway?
maybe thats the gimmick
'proof that I do something'
or
'northwest of normal'
'who are the people in my neighborhood'
'socially permie'
we'll see how I feel about any of these tomorrow
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
time up
Can I write a meaningful and or witty post in the next 6 minutes, before lunch is served? Did I miss important signals telling me my time was up here? Am I really exactly where I need to be in this moment? Am I learning what I need to be learning or repeating patterns? Is there really a perfect community out there for me? Is consensus the best way to make decisions? Why do I always feel like I am running out of time?
Sunday, June 7, 2009
a strawberry hunt
Instead of writing my resume, making birthday invitations, or cleaning my room, I decided to take Ama on a berry hunt. R said that he found the first wild berries of the season, so I had to see for myself. I knew where a few big patches were...we headed in that direction. We stopped along the way to look at the tadpoles in the pond. I saw lots of strawberry plants, but had the hardest time finding berries. Finally... the big patch in the sun... we found a few tiny berries!
Friday, June 5, 2009
1 year
June 2, I celebrated being at LV for 1 year. As far as I know, there was almost an appreciation circle for me. I'm glad someone thought about doing that. I guess there wasnt enough time though. I have been wanting appreciations for awhile. I've asked. I guess I am being tested ... I need to pass the test of asking while remaining unattached to the outcome. Yes, I know I need to appreciate myself...and...it is nice to be loved and needed and wanted by the people around me.
I am taking some advice I got about appreciating the people around me. And dropping my ego even more... I dont think I can have much less ego than I do anyway.
I am taking some advice I got about appreciating the people around me. And dropping my ego even more... I dont think I can have much less ego than I do anyway.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
inspiration
No, actually I dont think my problem is about inspiration, or even motivation. I am inspired by the beauty around me and the fun excitement happening. Maybe it is a lack of motivation. Maybe its my overwhelming feeling of being overwhelmed. Maybe its priorities...it has been written in my agenda for at least a week to take care of myself; to do something for myself just for the sake of loving myself and getting me back on track with a positive attitude. I put it off just long enough to where my body physically had to say "enough" and knock me to my feet with gut wrenching pain. "OK". I get it. I need to rest. I need to relax and let go. The mexican lunch will be cooked by someone else. Ama is taken care of. I can relax. I can sleep.
3 hour nap
its ok.
everything is ok.
I did however , miss my last chance to cook with N (AKA something cosmic). He is leaving soon. J is leaving sooner. K is leaving. D is leaving. Am I forgetting anyone? So many people are leaving. People who have been here the whole time I have been here. People who seem to make this place Lost valley. People who are extremely loving and compassionate. People who seem to keep this dimming heart of lv beating....
3 hour nap
its ok.
everything is ok.
I did however , miss my last chance to cook with N (AKA something cosmic). He is leaving soon. J is leaving sooner. K is leaving. D is leaving. Am I forgetting anyone? So many people are leaving. People who have been here the whole time I have been here. People who seem to make this place Lost valley. People who are extremely loving and compassionate. People who seem to keep this dimming heart of lv beating....
Monday, May 4, 2009
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Thursday, April 30, 2009
falling behind
I know I am falling behind on posting. This week I cooked lunch and dinner 2 days in a row. I'm pretty worn out. Last night we had the Taurus birthday party. R sang glorious taurus with his band 'lemon pudding'. Then, the LV band played. I stayed for one song and decided it was best to get to bed.
We are prepping for a big weekend. We are hosting 'Eat here Now' on saturday. Its a community potluck to celebrate the land and local farmers.
We are also celebrating our 20th anniversary and Beltaine!
We are prepping for a big weekend. We are hosting 'Eat here Now' on saturday. Its a community potluck to celebrate the land and local farmers.
We are also celebrating our 20th anniversary and Beltaine!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
principle #4
apply self regulation and accept feedback
the sins of the fathers are visited on the children unto the seventh generation
This is about designing systems that discourage inappropriate growth or behavior. Nature left alone is typically self regulating. Picture the food chain, and what happens when people intervene- or a nursing mother, feeding her baby when it shows cues of being hungry.
Im not describing these physical aspects in too much depth, because I am intrigued more by the invisible systems in permaculture. The social aspects of the principles. I have not read this chapter yet in David Holmgrens book, but I flipped through it for inspiration on my topic today.
It's perfect.
Now if only i can get some ideas through with my words.
I'm going to write a few quotes from this chapter.
"personal responsibility- change the world by changing yourself- we cant depend on institutions, church, democracy, legal system- think globally act locally-self audit-addictions- avoid guilt and blame of others- self reliance as political action-"
This ties in beautifully to NVC. Non violent communication, or, compassionate communication. It begins with yourself. It doesnt blame. It is taking full responsibility for what you can control, your own feelings, actions and reactions.
The well being meeting last night was learning NVC together.
I am thankful to live with a group of people who believe compassionate communication is important- like me.
the sins of the fathers are visited on the children unto the seventh generation
This is about designing systems that discourage inappropriate growth or behavior. Nature left alone is typically self regulating. Picture the food chain, and what happens when people intervene- or a nursing mother, feeding her baby when it shows cues of being hungry.
Im not describing these physical aspects in too much depth, because I am intrigued more by the invisible systems in permaculture. The social aspects of the principles. I have not read this chapter yet in David Holmgrens book, but I flipped through it for inspiration on my topic today.
It's perfect.
Now if only i can get some ideas through with my words.
I'm going to write a few quotes from this chapter.
"personal responsibility- change the world by changing yourself- we cant depend on institutions, church, democracy, legal system- think globally act locally-self audit-addictions- avoid guilt and blame of others- self reliance as political action-"
This ties in beautifully to NVC. Non violent communication, or, compassionate communication. It begins with yourself. It doesnt blame. It is taking full responsibility for what you can control, your own feelings, actions and reactions.
The well being meeting last night was learning NVC together.
I am thankful to live with a group of people who believe compassionate communication is important- like me.
Monday, April 20, 2009
best lentil soup ever
I was verbally nominated for making the best green lentil soup at LV ever! Yay!
I made a moroccan magic feast today with N. It was magic because, at first, it seemed like everything was going wrong. The recipes I chose had many ingredients listed that we didnt have. The big stove is not working very well. Then...I noticed...we didnt have any canned tomatoes! That was a major item in two of the dishes I wanted to make. I didnt worry though. I know it will all work out great.
and it did of course
its all about attitude
The couscous was great as well.
parsley, onion, garlic, cinnamon, ginger, apricots,
mmmmm
and on the menu for tomorrow...
beets!
I made a moroccan magic feast today with N. It was magic because, at first, it seemed like everything was going wrong. The recipes I chose had many ingredients listed that we didnt have. The big stove is not working very well. Then...I noticed...we didnt have any canned tomatoes! That was a major item in two of the dishes I wanted to make. I didnt worry though. I know it will all work out great.
and it did of course
its all about attitude
The couscous was great as well.
parsley, onion, garlic, cinnamon, ginger, apricots,
mmmmm
and on the menu for tomorrow...
beets!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
potentially joyful lemonade
AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh! A lazy sunday at LV!
A lazy sunday, in spring, on a sunny warm day! The day is ending too soon. At least I did make the most of my day. I woke up well rested- finally a full 12 hour night sleep. I made bean cocoa muffins with Ama and enjoyed breakfast with her. I listened to stories about the antics that happened at a party last night. (a few people tried to convince me to go, they even bribed me with cookies, but I wanted to stay here and sleep- perfect decision). Lost track of time with C and K at the swimming hole. I joined the tye dye T folding party for a bit, then prepared for my picnic. I packed up some snacks, books, blankets and pillows and took Ama to the creek for a few hours. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. friends came and went. I read. I relaxed. I talked. I braided. P taught Ama to braid. I discussed infininsce with M.
Made dosas
observed the lodge lawn...with conversations, oboe playing, reading and swinging happening
Discussed joy with R. he decided that lemonade almost brings him joy- so we went and drank some.
A lazy sunday, in spring, on a sunny warm day! The day is ending too soon. At least I did make the most of my day. I woke up well rested- finally a full 12 hour night sleep. I made bean cocoa muffins with Ama and enjoyed breakfast with her. I listened to stories about the antics that happened at a party last night. (a few people tried to convince me to go, they even bribed me with cookies, but I wanted to stay here and sleep- perfect decision). Lost track of time with C and K at the swimming hole. I joined the tye dye T folding party for a bit, then prepared for my picnic. I packed up some snacks, books, blankets and pillows and took Ama to the creek for a few hours. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. friends came and went. I read. I relaxed. I talked. I braided. P taught Ama to braid. I discussed infininsce with M.
Made dosas
observed the lodge lawn...with conversations, oboe playing, reading and swinging happening
Discussed joy with R. he decided that lemonade almost brings him joy- so we went and drank some.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
love is timeless
Went for a walk with the camera today. I think I ended up being gone about 2 hours. Spring is in full effect today, so I just cant help but go outside and see what finds me. In the first few minutes a snake and a hummingbird visited me. They must want me to pay attention to them because I was mildly startled by their presence. Then I opened up my wide vision more. I want to be present and observant. Principle number one is "observe and interact" for a reason. I was looking for flowers but the animals wanted to be seen today. I have been calling for the newts to find me for awhile. They finally came. I saw many newts, a frog, some tadpoles, and of course many insect creatures. And now there is a fly buzzing around my room.
After my pond visit, I sat with the daffodils and the trees for a bit. Thats when I really lost track of time.
How could anyone not be in love on a day like this?
After my pond visit, I sat with the daffodils and the trees for a bit. Thats when I really lost track of time.
How could anyone not be in love on a day like this?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
qoute
"oh no, we're not going to talk about monkeys again are we?"
3 days in a row the meal time conversation has somehow led to monkeys.
3 days in a row the meal time conversation has somehow led to monkeys.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
fiesta
I cooked a mexican feast with R today. It has been a crazy, exciting day. Actually the last 2 days have been pretty great, especially the cook shifts. Yesterday was a Jamaican love fest with N. He made the fritters into little hearts while we discussed friendship and love with M. Today got really exciting when R had the wok too hot and added wine to the oil. It was like 4th of july, with oil splattering everywhere like fireworks. All I could do was laugh hysterically. Until it shot into his eye.
I love the conversations here. The silly ones and the existential ones especially. I enjoy being in it, or just listening. Its like living in "I heart huckabees".
Oh and the quote of the day
"I get the feeling of impending doom when I smell cilantro."
I love the conversations here. The silly ones and the existential ones especially. I enjoy being in it, or just listening. Its like living in "I heart huckabees".
Oh and the quote of the day
"I get the feeling of impending doom when I smell cilantro."
Saturday, April 11, 2009
across the universe
Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither while they pass They slip away across the universe Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting thorough my open mind Possessing and caressing me
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes That call me on and on across the universe Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Sounds of laughter shades
of life are ringing through my open ears exciting and inviting me Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns It calls me on and on across the universe
Jai guru deva om Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Jai guru deva Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes That call me on and on across the universe Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Sounds of laughter shades
of life are ringing through my open ears exciting and inviting me Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns It calls me on and on across the universe
Jai guru deva om Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Jai guru deva Jai guru deva
Friday, April 10, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
interns, renterns, infiniterns, externs...
I used to be an intern, therefore, every tuesday I attended the intern gathering. I remember the relief I felt after the first one. I thought ' OK, this is the time and space to connect deeply with others here'. I was having a rough time settling in to a new job, a new place to live, and getting to know 30 new people. That is alot to take in all at once, especially with a 5 year old girl to take care of as well.
Actually I am remembering it was the second intern meeting when K led a Heart of now style gathering. My first meeting was not very eventful, and I remember feeling anxious that there wouldnt be a time and space devoted to connecting with each other.
I later found out that we also have the well being meetings for the whole community. Those were being held every other week, and now they happen every week.
The intern meetings serve other purposes as well. It is a good time to welcome new people, or say goodbye to those who are moving on. Many times when someone is leaving, they get to tell us about the lessons they have learned while being here. Ive got to say, the number 1 thing I hear is the extreme personal growth that has happened for them. Yes, we do permaculture stuff here.... but the biggest lesson people learn here is not typically 'how to compost'. It is more about the social permaculture that we live. The way we live, work and play in the same location. The way we live permaculture principle number 1 " beauty is in the eye of the beholder" ... observing and interacting. They usually describe all the learning they have experienced in *zone 00 (the self).
I have attended the last few intern meetings because...well, I love meetings. And I felt drawn to share myself with the new people in a group setting. And because sometimes the meetings are just too fun to miss.
past meetings have included...
climbing trees
games
personality tests
massages
walking
emotional processing
craft sharing
show and tell
nudity
creek swimming
yoga - i think there was nude yoga once before I got here-
have you worked at a job where these things happen in a typical meeting?
*zones are taught in the permaculture design classes (PDC)
zone 0 includes the home and the self
zone 1 is the immediate perimeter outside of the home where the majority of your time is spent
i think it goes up to zone 5- the higher the number, the least likely you spend any time there.
In phoenix a few of my friends have taught zone 00. It takes 'the self' out of zone 0 and creates a whole new zone. I think thats extremely important to consider. The self should always come first- in a loving way of course.
- i hope i got those zones right! I am a pdc graduate and a half:)
and for the persnickety.....
my reference to the permie principles is from "Permaculture -Principles and Pathways Beyond Sustainability" David Holmgren co originator of the permaculture concept
Actually I am remembering it was the second intern meeting when K led a Heart of now style gathering. My first meeting was not very eventful, and I remember feeling anxious that there wouldnt be a time and space devoted to connecting with each other.
I later found out that we also have the well being meetings for the whole community. Those were being held every other week, and now they happen every week.
The intern meetings serve other purposes as well. It is a good time to welcome new people, or say goodbye to those who are moving on. Many times when someone is leaving, they get to tell us about the lessons they have learned while being here. Ive got to say, the number 1 thing I hear is the extreme personal growth that has happened for them. Yes, we do permaculture stuff here.... but the biggest lesson people learn here is not typically 'how to compost'. It is more about the social permaculture that we live. The way we live, work and play in the same location. The way we live permaculture principle number 1 " beauty is in the eye of the beholder" ... observing and interacting. They usually describe all the learning they have experienced in *zone 00 (the self).
I have attended the last few intern meetings because...well, I love meetings. And I felt drawn to share myself with the new people in a group setting. And because sometimes the meetings are just too fun to miss.
past meetings have included...
climbing trees
games
personality tests
massages
walking
emotional processing
craft sharing
show and tell
nudity
creek swimming
yoga - i think there was nude yoga once before I got here-
have you worked at a job where these things happen in a typical meeting?
*zones are taught in the permaculture design classes (PDC)
zone 0 includes the home and the self
zone 1 is the immediate perimeter outside of the home where the majority of your time is spent
i think it goes up to zone 5- the higher the number, the least likely you spend any time there.
In phoenix a few of my friends have taught zone 00. It takes 'the self' out of zone 0 and creates a whole new zone. I think thats extremely important to consider. The self should always come first- in a loving way of course.
- i hope i got those zones right! I am a pdc graduate and a half:)
and for the persnickety.....
my reference to the permie principles is from "Permaculture -Principles and Pathways Beyond Sustainability" David Holmgren co originator of the permaculture concept
Monday, April 6, 2009
security and expectations
People want to know what they should expect before moving to an ecovillage. I would want to say... 'all of your expectations will be blown out the window'. Sometimes people have expectations because they are missing something in their lives. Someone might move to a farm type ecovillage to have food security because they dont personally have farming skills but they think they can depend on the farmers...and then its a bad growing year, therefore there's little food. The community struggles with buying food, and that person also struggles with the reality of how little security there is in this world.
I dont want to get into what expectations I may or may not have had before moving here. Not right now anyway.
What is the saying...'the only constant thing is change' ?
As I am writing this I wonder if its more about our unconscious expectations. Our unconscious commitments we make to keep ourselves stuck. The ones that make us want to run away from our problems. The patterns that seem to happen over and over no matter who we are with and where we are living.
Its got to be that...
I think :)
All I know is that I made conscious commitments to myself before moving 1000 miles away to an ecovillage. I had to. I knew I couldnt do this irrationally or unconsciously.
My commitments were to learn and grow,
be healthy
have fun
do major personal growth
make friends
be aware
learn learn and more learning in every moment
And all of those expectations are met
and are still being met all the time
And here is my realization....
You can only set expectations for yourself
anything else will be challenged, until you realize, its all about YOU!
The question really is ' what commitments do I have for myself in my life'?
and the security can only come from within
I dont want to get into what expectations I may or may not have had before moving here. Not right now anyway.
What is the saying...'the only constant thing is change' ?
As I am writing this I wonder if its more about our unconscious expectations. Our unconscious commitments we make to keep ourselves stuck. The ones that make us want to run away from our problems. The patterns that seem to happen over and over no matter who we are with and where we are living.
Its got to be that...
I think :)
All I know is that I made conscious commitments to myself before moving 1000 miles away to an ecovillage. I had to. I knew I couldnt do this irrationally or unconsciously.
My commitments were to learn and grow,
be healthy
have fun
do major personal growth
make friends
be aware
learn learn and more learning in every moment
And all of those expectations are met
and are still being met all the time
And here is my realization....
You can only set expectations for yourself
anything else will be challenged, until you realize, its all about YOU!
The question really is ' what commitments do I have for myself in my life'?
and the security can only come from within
Saturday, April 4, 2009
goodbyes and gratitudes
One of the realities of this ecovillage is that people come and go all the time. We all deal with that in our own ways. It is an experiment for me to practice loving and caring in an unattached way. I dont like saying goodbye. I dont like endings. Like Ive mentioned sometime before...sometimes I avoid beginnings just so I can avoid an ending.
I truly enjoy the presence of everyone who stays at LV with me. I do however, keep a distance sometimes. I dont let my love shine through. It has been so amazing though, when I have made deep connections, even temporary ones. Being in the moment, making connections, and moving on when they move on. Lv keeps on running, new people come and fill the open roles, everything is ok. I get hints of sadness reminiscing sometimes, but, there is usually so much going on, I hardly have time for that.
Sometimes I have huge waves of gratefulness flow through me when I think about the people I live with. I want to bring that gratefulness into the moments I share with my friends. I dont want to be grateful after they leave, a week after a conversation we had, or even hours later when I am replaying our interactions. I want to show love and gratitude in the moment.
Because I DO love and appreciate every one of you. --even if it doesnt seem like it.
C- who brings music to the lodge, and a wisdom that few people have
R-witty sarcasm, abundance of knowledge, observation, and seeing thru the games
R-your honesty about the dark side, hugs, couple skating
M-bringing laughter to PC, humor, mouse help, eggs, food, speaking your truth
P-rituals, honesty, openness, strength, acceptance
D- grounding circles, choosing love, earth hour,
J- yoga, connecting, honesty, notes, speaking up, making things happen
J-keeping it all together, relaxing, sauna, skating, singing, working, maintain the balance
C-getting it all together, perseverance, choosing to stay, trusting me, guidance
M-honesty, performance, laughter, hearing me
N- stillness, hugs, asking for what you want,
D-energy, listening, understanding, feeling
K-dancing, love, drumming, hugs, fun, positive
B-welcoming, massage, advice, support, meringue, dj duo, energy, closeness, gifts, being true to yourself, playfulness, haggard,...
thats only the beginning. We have so many new people and so many who left, I can only list a handful of appreciations of the current people ( and 1 who left awhile ago, you know who you are).
So many people and soooo many lessons to learn.
I truly enjoy the presence of everyone who stays at LV with me. I do however, keep a distance sometimes. I dont let my love shine through. It has been so amazing though, when I have made deep connections, even temporary ones. Being in the moment, making connections, and moving on when they move on. Lv keeps on running, new people come and fill the open roles, everything is ok. I get hints of sadness reminiscing sometimes, but, there is usually so much going on, I hardly have time for that.
Sometimes I have huge waves of gratefulness flow through me when I think about the people I live with. I want to bring that gratefulness into the moments I share with my friends. I dont want to be grateful after they leave, a week after a conversation we had, or even hours later when I am replaying our interactions. I want to show love and gratitude in the moment.
Because I DO love and appreciate every one of you. --even if it doesnt seem like it.
C- who brings music to the lodge, and a wisdom that few people have
R-witty sarcasm, abundance of knowledge, observation, and seeing thru the games
R-your honesty about the dark side, hugs, couple skating
M-bringing laughter to PC, humor, mouse help, eggs, food, speaking your truth
P-rituals, honesty, openness, strength, acceptance
D- grounding circles, choosing love, earth hour,
J- yoga, connecting, honesty, notes, speaking up, making things happen
J-keeping it all together, relaxing, sauna, skating, singing, working, maintain the balance
C-getting it all together, perseverance, choosing to stay, trusting me, guidance
M-honesty, performance, laughter, hearing me
N- stillness, hugs, asking for what you want,
D-energy, listening, understanding, feeling
K-dancing, love, drumming, hugs, fun, positive
B-welcoming, massage, advice, support, meringue, dj duo, energy, closeness, gifts, being true to yourself, playfulness, haggard,...
thats only the beginning. We have so many new people and so many who left, I can only list a handful of appreciations of the current people ( and 1 who left awhile ago, you know who you are).
So many people and soooo many lessons to learn.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
more on love
"Life is nothing but a dream,
and if we are artists,
then we create our life with love,
and our dream becomes
a masterpiece of art."
-Don Miguel Ruiz "The Mastery of Love"
There are 2 main sources of emotions..love and all the emotions that come from love, and fear, and all the emotions that come from fear.
Do you want to come from the track of love? or fear?
love has no expectations,
no obligations, and therefore no resistance.
love is based on respect.
love is ruthless, it does not feel sorry for anyone, but it does have compassion.
love is compassion.
love is completely responsible.
love is always kind
love is generous
love is unconditional
I love you for no reason, with no justification.
fear is everything else. I didnt want to list everything that fear is, because really, if you arent living in these loving ways, you are living in fear. Most of us live in fear most of the time, Ruiz would say 90% of the time. I want to live in love more than that! I want to consciously choose the track of love.
How does this relate to LV? I thought that we were an example of living a different lifestyle in all aspects including choosing love over fear. We used to have a workshop here every month called Heart of Now. That was one aspect of the experience of HON. That was part of my reality that I saw whenever I visited LV. I dont see it so much anymore. I see everyone around me choosing fear, hiding, avoiding, demanding, etc. Including me of course. I also see the magic that happens when just 1 person chooses love , even for just a few minutes. I see what happens when I change my attitude. I need to choose that more often.
It is so simple
and yet
it can seem sooooo hard.
If you want to know more about true love, I recommend "The Mastery of Love" chapter 4 the track of love the track of fear. That is where my excerpts came from.
and if we are artists,
then we create our life with love,
and our dream becomes
a masterpiece of art."
-Don Miguel Ruiz "The Mastery of Love"
There are 2 main sources of emotions..love and all the emotions that come from love, and fear, and all the emotions that come from fear.
Do you want to come from the track of love? or fear?
love has no expectations,
no obligations, and therefore no resistance.
love is based on respect.
love is ruthless, it does not feel sorry for anyone, but it does have compassion.
love is compassion.
love is completely responsible.
love is always kind
love is generous
love is unconditional
I love you for no reason, with no justification.
fear is everything else. I didnt want to list everything that fear is, because really, if you arent living in these loving ways, you are living in fear. Most of us live in fear most of the time, Ruiz would say 90% of the time. I want to live in love more than that! I want to consciously choose the track of love.
How does this relate to LV? I thought that we were an example of living a different lifestyle in all aspects including choosing love over fear. We used to have a workshop here every month called Heart of Now. That was one aspect of the experience of HON. That was part of my reality that I saw whenever I visited LV. I dont see it so much anymore. I see everyone around me choosing fear, hiding, avoiding, demanding, etc. Including me of course. I also see the magic that happens when just 1 person chooses love , even for just a few minutes. I see what happens when I change my attitude. I need to choose that more often.
It is so simple
and yet
it can seem sooooo hard.
If you want to know more about true love, I recommend "The Mastery of Love" chapter 4 the track of love the track of fear. That is where my excerpts came from.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
open Mike
On saturday we had an open mic/dance party/ celebration of A. It turned out to be earth hour night as well, so we made it accoustic candle light hour. People cooked, people sang, people hulahooped. Almost everyone was there. It was cool.
but then, just like now, my heart is not into it. I havent written because of that. I sensed something was wrong. Now I know. A crisis has 'allegedly' been averted. One of the many imagined crises that goes on here when we forget how powerful our postivie thoughts can be. We are losing our heart- The love that has gotten LV by for 20 years. When we can remember the love, nothing is wrong. Fear can destroy. This "crisis" was personal. It has affected me and the people around, and LV, as its own living being. The destruction left behind from this imagined drama, feels so real. I need to choose love for myself, and hope that everyone else and this land we enjoy, chooses the same... so we dont all break down in destruction and fear.
Love means - Love means to always say YES, Love means to always give all, Love means to always absorb all, Love means to be toy of love and playground of love, ...
Love means to be the playground for your love
oneLove means to be the playground for all your children
Love means to be best friend of all
Love means you can say to your loved oneI am yours - my body heart and soul is yours
to do with love
to do for love
to explore love
to create love
to enjoy love
anything you do for true love as the only reason, purpose or goal always is fine,
to feel your joy of love
I love to feel your happiness i can create within you
true love has no limits hence has no doors
are you sure your loved one knows all that
did you ever offer all what you are - as what God made you - Female or Male
maybe YOU start NOW to offer shared learning of love ?
but then, just like now, my heart is not into it. I havent written because of that. I sensed something was wrong. Now I know. A crisis has 'allegedly' been averted. One of the many imagined crises that goes on here when we forget how powerful our postivie thoughts can be. We are losing our heart- The love that has gotten LV by for 20 years. When we can remember the love, nothing is wrong. Fear can destroy. This "crisis" was personal. It has affected me and the people around, and LV, as its own living being. The destruction left behind from this imagined drama, feels so real. I need to choose love for myself, and hope that everyone else and this land we enjoy, chooses the same... so we dont all break down in destruction and fear.
Love means - Love means to always say YES, Love means to always give all, Love means to always absorb all, Love means to be toy of love and playground of love, ...
Love means to be the playground for your love
oneLove means to be the playground for all your children
Love means to be best friend of all
Love means you can say to your loved oneI am yours - my body heart and soul is yours
to do with love
to do for love
to explore love
to create love
to enjoy love
anything you do for true love as the only reason, purpose or goal always is fine,
to feel your joy of love
I love to feel your happiness i can create within you
true love has no limits hence has no doors
are you sure your loved one knows all that
did you ever offer all what you are - as what God made you - Female or Male
maybe YOU start NOW to offer shared learning of love ?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
"I am so ready for purpose"
alternate title
"Purple Circus"
Every other Wednesday night is devoted to a meeting we call 'purpose circle'. Its a time when the community comes together to discuss issues and make decisions. Some like to call it purple circus. Sometimes it seems a bit more like a circus. I love meetings and pretty much any type of gathering of people. I find it essential for a community to gather at least once a week. With all the people coming and going here...and because of how different we all are, makes any gathering especially interesting. We have the people who feel pressured to be at PC, the ones (one) who love to be there, the ones who come prepared for an efficient meeting (maybe?), the ones who like to banter, ones who don't know whats going on...and of course the ones who just don't go at all ( so , then, don't know whats going on). Oh wait...also the one who likes to sleep.
We strive for an efficient consensus decision making process. I love consensus! The theory is that a group of any size can make decisions in this way, if they follow the process.
Getting that process down.....seems to be a challenge.
Tonight we talked about quiet hours. Should quiet hours start at 10 or 11 on weekends? R thinks we should just get a stun gun to use when people are not using 'common sense' about quietness around sleeping areas. In the past M has mentioned that maybe we don't need rules at all for the community. And I wonder, isn't it all about common sense? common courtesy? respectfulness? compassion? taking responsibility to say something when a person offends you with their loudness or anything else?
then i remember the cake and bliss incident 2009......
apparently some of us need some boundaries and rules
but, as usual, that is just my version of the story
"Purple Circus"
Every other Wednesday night is devoted to a meeting we call 'purpose circle'. Its a time when the community comes together to discuss issues and make decisions. Some like to call it purple circus. Sometimes it seems a bit more like a circus. I love meetings and pretty much any type of gathering of people. I find it essential for a community to gather at least once a week. With all the people coming and going here...and because of how different we all are, makes any gathering especially interesting. We have the people who feel pressured to be at PC, the ones (one) who love to be there, the ones who come prepared for an efficient meeting (maybe?), the ones who like to banter, ones who don't know whats going on...and of course the ones who just don't go at all ( so , then, don't know whats going on). Oh wait...also the one who likes to sleep.
We strive for an efficient consensus decision making process. I love consensus! The theory is that a group of any size can make decisions in this way, if they follow the process.
Getting that process down.....seems to be a challenge.
Tonight we talked about quiet hours. Should quiet hours start at 10 or 11 on weekends? R thinks we should just get a stun gun to use when people are not using 'common sense' about quietness around sleeping areas. In the past M has mentioned that maybe we don't need rules at all for the community. And I wonder, isn't it all about common sense? common courtesy? respectfulness? compassion? taking responsibility to say something when a person offends you with their loudness or anything else?
then i remember the cake and bliss incident 2009......
apparently some of us need some boundaries and rules
but, as usual, that is just my version of the story
being well
Every Tuesday night we have well being meetings. Last night , I forgot that my well being was going to be roller skating with R. Tuesday night is also Christian night at the roller rink (which means 2 $ admission- the cheapest time to go ). But we both forgot! So , after dinner I chose to go to the LV well being which was a shamanic drumming journey.
some other well beings of the past have included....
cranium game night
personality tests
nonviolent (compassionate) communication
heart of now style activities*
men/womens circle
drum circle
dancing
movies
crafts
talking
hot tub
sauna
* Heart of now is a program that used to be taught here on a monthly basis. It is one of the top reasons I moved here. A few months before I moved though, it turned out, HON moved out of LV. I recommend this program to everyone. This may be a generic thing to say, but, HON changed my life. Check it out
www.heartofnow.org
some other well beings of the past have included....
cranium game night
personality tests
nonviolent (compassionate) communication
heart of now style activities*
men/womens circle
drum circle
dancing
movies
crafts
talking
hot tub
sauna
* Heart of now is a program that used to be taught here on a monthly basis. It is one of the top reasons I moved here. A few months before I moved though, it turned out, HON moved out of LV. I recommend this program to everyone. This may be a generic thing to say, but, HON changed my life. Check it out
www.heartofnow.org
Monday, March 23, 2009
koskay and his grumpy little friends
I have not been in the best mood for the last few days. Even though I might laugh at the silly conversations at lunch or enjoy a massage from K , I go back to my blah feeling. When everyone raves about the meal that M cooked, I get jealous. When someone changes the love chore* board, I get personally offended. I start wondering if F is actually working or just pretending. I joke with Koskay about joining his drum group of happy little friends and feel rejected. When W tells us about how kids in her community are respected and never thought of as a burden, I cry and then steep with anger. I walk around and dont offer hugs. I want people to come to me.
Like people living in NYC... I am surrounded by people yet feel lonely and not understood. What happened to compassion? What happened to our goals to be different... to live in a supportive village model? Sometimes it just seems like we are all struggling to get by on our own and cant imagine working together cooperatively.
Some of us believe in 'the secret' and manifesting what we want etc. I know I could change my attitude and have a whole different outlook in the next moment, but i guess i want to be negative for a few minutes.
*my love chore is 'love coordinator'
i am in charge of the love chore board. this is our attempt at getting random jobs done such as cleaning the guesthouse, checking the mail, catching mice, composter, organizing the first aid center, laundry...I'm still not sure about the effectiveness of this system.
Like people living in NYC... I am surrounded by people yet feel lonely and not understood. What happened to compassion? What happened to our goals to be different... to live in a supportive village model? Sometimes it just seems like we are all struggling to get by on our own and cant imagine working together cooperatively.
Some of us believe in 'the secret' and manifesting what we want etc. I know I could change my attitude and have a whole different outlook in the next moment, but i guess i want to be negative for a few minutes.
*my love chore is 'love coordinator'
i am in charge of the love chore board. this is our attempt at getting random jobs done such as cleaning the guesthouse, checking the mail, catching mice, composter, organizing the first aid center, laundry...I'm still not sure about the effectiveness of this system.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
many hands make light work
This permaculture principal was uttered today while in our Ostara lunch circle. Principle number 8, integrate rather than segregate ("many hands make light work"). Sometimes after our community meals we have a blitz clean. Thats when everyone chips in about 15 minutes of clean up time and the whole kitchen is clean in about 30 minutes. Otherwise we have a rotating schedule with 2 people cleaning up for 1.5 hours.
This principle is also the one that I have taught in 4 PDC classes (Permaculture Design Certificate). I teach it in relation to 'kids in the community'. Integrate the kids rather than segregating them. That is much easier siad than done for me. When I am working, I really like to focus on what I am doing. Ideally, Ama would be home schooled or unschooled and right now she is in public school.
hmmm
there is alot I could say about this.
I just want to leave it at that for now.
My biggest struggle, and yet, the topic that I teach others....
kids in the community 
Saturday, March 21, 2009
...and the daffodils look lovely today...
Welcome Spring!
I just have to acknowledge the daffodils.
In this time of Ostara, I am releasing the sharp, thorny seriousness, mask of protection that the blackberries embody. I am inviting in the fun, delicate, beauty of the daffodil.
Monday, March 16, 2009
best weekend ever
This is weird. I have been in such a good mood lately. It helps to have a bright sunny springlike Friday, and then a weekend packed with goodness. Rain or not, the weather couldn't stop me from doing... well, just about anything.
First, I took Ama to the seed swap/propagation fair at Lane Community College. We both immediately found some friends. She played with a few girls she has known for 2 years. The cool thing was that they entertained themselves and didn't disturb the class I was in. That prompted me to finally talk to one of the parents about a tribal playgroup that happens in my area. I am so excited to finally join the tribe! I also talked with a person about a part time Americorps job, and ran into multiple friends from the LV community, past and present. Such a fulfilling morning yet not overwhelming.
I was also an unofficial photographer for the event.
Next, it was Ama's choice. She wanted to go to family day at the museum. We made crafts, completed a scavenger hunt and looked at art.
We took a break at my moms house.
The grand finale of the day......
.........
World Naked Bike Ride!
Yes, it was cold and raining and there was a good sized audience.*
but soooo worth it!
We rode in honor of bike commuters everywhere, to promote more bikes, less cars!
Sunday was NW trackers day here at LV. We had a great turnout. About 30 people came out to learn how to track animals, make a fire without matches and cooperation. The highlights of the workshop for me were
throwing and catching wooden swords using our intuition
this follow the leader game that is difficult for me to describe in words
making a bow and using it to -almost- start a fire!
I finished off the weekend with moving -mostly- in to my new room (with help), and some wonderful chats with intriguing people.
yay
* disclaimer
I was decently clothed
First, I took Ama to the seed swap/propagation fair at Lane Community College. We both immediately found some friends. She played with a few girls she has known for 2 years. The cool thing was that they entertained themselves and didn't disturb the class I was in. That prompted me to finally talk to one of the parents about a tribal playgroup that happens in my area. I am so excited to finally join the tribe! I also talked with a person about a part time Americorps job, and ran into multiple friends from the LV community, past and present. Such a fulfilling morning yet not overwhelming.
I was also an unofficial photographer for the event.
Next, it was Ama's choice. She wanted to go to family day at the museum. We made crafts, completed a scavenger hunt and looked at art.
We took a break at my moms house.
The grand finale of the day......
.........
World Naked Bike Ride!
Yes, it was cold and raining and there was a good sized audience.*
but soooo worth it!
We rode in honor of bike commuters everywhere, to promote more bikes, less cars!
Sunday was NW trackers day here at LV. We had a great turnout. About 30 people came out to learn how to track animals, make a fire without matches and cooperation. The highlights of the workshop for me were
throwing and catching wooden swords using our intuition
this follow the leader game that is difficult for me to describe in words
making a bow and using it to -almost- start a fire!
I finished off the weekend with moving -mostly- in to my new room (with help), and some wonderful chats with intriguing people.
yay
* disclaimer
I was decently clothed
iron chef - celery
I am cooking on Wednesday again and I need to plan my meals in advance. I have a box of celery, a box of leeks and a box of cabbage....any ideas?
other than soup?
We have all the other staples, like grains and some nuts and beans.
Please let me know if you have great recipe ideas that highlight these veggies.
other than soup?
We have all the other staples, like grains and some nuts and beans.
Please let me know if you have great recipe ideas that highlight these veggies.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
from a to b
This weekend I moved from guesthouse room A to cabin 11B. There was a slight mix up in which room I chose...I thought I was going from a to a. I am so excited to be sitting in this luxurious 300 sq ft loft room. It is almost too big. I havent had this much space to myself in so long. I have plenty of room to divide up an area for Ama. We can have 2 beds if we want ( actually I have 3 set up right now). Pretty soon, everything I own will be in this room. I have decluttered from a 4 bedroom house in Phoenix with boxes of items in multiple cities for whatever reasons to (almost) this 1 location. Almost. I am getting it done. I am working on it. I know it will feel so good when its done. My feng shui- ness will be in balance. Thats why I have been working on this simplification project. How/why it has taken so long?....I am working on accepting my own timeline. I am improving myself and getting better and better, everyday in every way.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
is that a hardcore hippie or a draft from the compost pile?
Permaculture principle number 6 : produce no waste. Our bodies naturally produce waste everyday and we can close the loop by using this great resource. Many people dont know that urine contains valuable nitrogen that our soil and plants need. Even less people actually choose to use it, and instead flush it down the toilet...which then, wastes more water and other things. So, most of us here, pee into buckets... or in the forest... or right into the compost pile.
On a sunny day last week, we sat outside to eat our lunch, and a disturbing smell wafted by. I eventually asked if R recently poured out the pee buckets into the compost. The land interns said maybe, but he also fertilised the apple trees with the buckets that morning. M said " oh I thought that smell might have been a hardcore hippie."
On a sunny day last week, we sat outside to eat our lunch, and a disturbing smell wafted by. I eventually asked if R recently poured out the pee buckets into the compost. The land interns said maybe, but he also fertilised the apple trees with the buckets that morning. M said " oh I thought that smell might have been a hardcore hippie."
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
hungexican
Oh, James...why did you have to leave me...my blog might be so blah without you here. At least you went out with a bang, giving me the best theme for a meal yet...hungexican. Hungarian Mexican.
I might not have mentioned what I actually do here at LV. I work in the kitchen. Up until this week , I have been an intern. I worked lots of hours in exchange for room and board. This week I applied and got hired as a kitchen assistant. I will be paid...but its just a part time job and my hours (pay) will be just enough to pay LV back for my expenses. I will move into staff housing (a bigger room!) that i need to pay for. I think its worth it to have some pressure relief. I will have a set schedule of 13 hours a week and plenty of free time to relax, write more blogs, do more projects, or get another part time job if i need extra cash.
So, with my new job, I will be developing recipes for the upcoming busy season. Today I was trying out a simpler way to make veggie burgers and tamales. Instead of grilling or frying up every burger, I smooshed the veg/bean mix into a long pan and baked it, then cut them into squares. For the tamales, I followed a cornbread recipe and replaced 1/3 of the corn meal with masa. I also made garlic mashed potatoes, agave cooked greens, and enchilada sauce. The items had seasonings such as cumin, coriander and paprika.
It all turned out pretty good. I really wish that I had green chiles and cilantro to exemplify the mexican nature of the meal. I was told that hungarian food has lots of paprika, so I used alot of that. Now I need to remember all the ingredients I used and how much I used, and get started on the 2009 conference cook book!
I might not have mentioned what I actually do here at LV. I work in the kitchen. Up until this week , I have been an intern. I worked lots of hours in exchange for room and board. This week I applied and got hired as a kitchen assistant. I will be paid...but its just a part time job and my hours (pay) will be just enough to pay LV back for my expenses. I will move into staff housing (a bigger room!) that i need to pay for. I think its worth it to have some pressure relief. I will have a set schedule of 13 hours a week and plenty of free time to relax, write more blogs, do more projects, or get another part time job if i need extra cash.
So, with my new job, I will be developing recipes for the upcoming busy season. Today I was trying out a simpler way to make veggie burgers and tamales. Instead of grilling or frying up every burger, I smooshed the veg/bean mix into a long pan and baked it, then cut them into squares. For the tamales, I followed a cornbread recipe and replaced 1/3 of the corn meal with masa. I also made garlic mashed potatoes, agave cooked greens, and enchilada sauce. The items had seasonings such as cumin, coriander and paprika.
It all turned out pretty good. I really wish that I had green chiles and cilantro to exemplify the mexican nature of the meal. I was told that hungarian food has lots of paprika, so I used alot of that. Now I need to remember all the ingredients I used and how much I used, and get started on the 2009 conference cook book!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
pat cam
There is a guy here, we will call him pat. Some think he could have his own reality show, he just needs a pat cam. I think LV totally needs a reality show- it would capture my stories so much better than I can explain with words. Today D is going to nominate Pat for one of our fake LV awards*.
Dr. of phun.
is the nomination
it has something to do with Phd's and fun
Pat has had the opportunity to offend many of our residents and guests including our most recent celebrity students, Juno.
He has this ability to question everything and philosophize anything. I offered everyone chocolate at lunch today and he said ' whats this?'
"chocolate"
"whats it mean?"
?
i probably laughed or said chocolate again...
earlier I ran into him conversing (gossiping) with C about a past LV intern
they were debating on whether or not she was gay. they had differing opinions, but both thought for sure they were right.
* someone came up with the idea of nominating people for an award. the prize was allegedly this weird trophy thing, but it disappeared recently, and i never actually saw anyone win it. anyone can randomly nominate a person for pretty much anything. nominations dont happen very often unfortunately. some past categories were...
best Amish couple
official werewolf narrator
best cilantro debate 2008
best kitchen drama
most huge
cult leader
best tabler at tayberry jam-me
Dr. of phun.
is the nomination
it has something to do with Phd's and fun
Pat has had the opportunity to offend many of our residents and guests including our most recent celebrity students, Juno.
He has this ability to question everything and philosophize anything. I offered everyone chocolate at lunch today and he said ' whats this?'
"chocolate"
"whats it mean?"
?
i probably laughed or said chocolate again...
earlier I ran into him conversing (gossiping) with C about a past LV intern
they were debating on whether or not she was gay. they had differing opinions, but both thought for sure they were right.
* someone came up with the idea of nominating people for an award. the prize was allegedly this weird trophy thing, but it disappeared recently, and i never actually saw anyone win it. anyone can randomly nominate a person for pretty much anything. nominations dont happen very often unfortunately. some past categories were...
best Amish couple
official werewolf narrator
best cilantro debate 2008
best kitchen drama
most huge
cult leader
best tabler at tayberry jam-me
drama of the day (feb17 2009)
A few weeks ago I lined up a great deal on some Coconut Bliss. This is a vegan's dream*. It's a very yummy ice cream made out of coconut milk, agave and chocolate ( thats the flavor we got). I paid for the bucket o bliss out of the kitchen budget and notified everyone that the price would be 3.50$ a quart or about 50 cents a scoop. Well, on this night I discovered a problem... there was at least 1 dessert addict sneaking into the bliss! It was half gone and a spoon was left in its place. But, thats not the only thing missing... a whole sweet life** cake was also gone! Now, that wouldnt be sooooo bad... if the empty box and 2 knives werent left in the freezer- YUCK!
*I'm not a vegan, but sometimes I crave this ice cream
** sweet life is a bakery in town that generously donates items to us instead of throwing things away. I would happily pick up more free sweets for the sugar addicts if they asked me to - but dont leave empty boxes in the freezer!
*I'm not a vegan, but sometimes I crave this ice cream
** sweet life is a bakery in town that generously donates items to us instead of throwing things away. I would happily pick up more free sweets for the sugar addicts if they asked me to - but dont leave empty boxes in the freezer!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
low key sunday
I need to get adjusted to an earlier bed time so I can wake up earlier. Last night I went to bed fairly early. I even resisted the temptation of the hot tub. Ama woke me up early as usual... I think she was up at 6 or 7. I couldnt drag myself out of bed until 8 or 9 or so. I'm also not quite sure of the times because the time changed again. I grew up in AZ where we dont have daylight savings time... oh, theres another positive thing about AZ. It just does not make any sense to me to change the time. I wouldnt even change my clocks if I didnt have to get Ama to school ' on time'. I put that in quotes because time change or not, I dont get her to school on time. We have been on time probably 3 times.
other than that... other things that happened today...
computer work-resume writing, emailing, blogs
dr. suess video hour
snow! sun! more snow!
welcome home hugs
cleaned room
laundry
leftover lunch
I interviewed Ama and she interviewed me
stories and rest
day after hot tub dip
found out LV staff has to take a 10% paycut
checked out some bigger rooms to move in to
other than that... other things that happened today...
computer work-resume writing, emailing, blogs
dr. suess video hour
snow! sun! more snow!
welcome home hugs
cleaned room
laundry
leftover lunch
I interviewed Ama and she interviewed me
stories and rest
day after hot tub dip
found out LV staff has to take a 10% paycut
checked out some bigger rooms to move in to
hippies go skating (feb 17 2009)
What happens when you let 20 lost valleyites loose on a field trip to a roller rink? Total mayhem! Imagine, any big group of friends going anywhere would be pretty crazy. We dominated the rink. The dj willingly played music more appealing to us - less Hannah Montana, more funky 80's. The 5 other people there didnt seem to mind too much, until J demanded more 'reverse' skating. JW and I eventually led a revolt to get back in the regular skating direction. Some of us showed off our sped skating abilities, L perfected the crouch, D learned she DID need to let go of hands when she falls and D @ M were groovin. Others enjoyed the snack bar with its sodas, cotton candy and pumps of dyed yellow sludge with chips. At one point we all stopped skating and went to the middle of the floor to dance and spin and do crazy legs. R learned to skate, J did a head stand, A checked video games for money and I think we all learned how important a "mandatory" (or highly encouraged), fun trip can be.
Friday, March 6, 2009
time warp
Yes. I know. I havent written in 2 weeks. I have been in a whirlwind time warp that is called Phoenix Arizona. It is almost a complete opposite to what I have been living for the last 9 months. Add that to the fact that I can go from LV to Phx in about 3 hours time and 100 dollars cash. From forest to desert- community to individualism- clouds to sun- 40 degrees to 80 degrees- biking to driving- lichens to orange blossoms-love to fear- that is a major transition to make in just a few hours. I am used to a more natural pace of travel, and actually, I am getting used to a more natural pace of life all around.
Visiting the city I grew up in, validated almost all of the reasons I moved to oregon. The biggest one is community. I love my phx people...my permie family, my alternatives cafe family, my azmamas tribe, and my real family.... and.... it is just so weird to have my families spread out over an 80 mile radius. Weird and unnatural for me. My need for connection and community is so strong, as is my need for NOT driving... I could hardly handle the phx reality. I felt sad that so many people struggle so much because they have chosen individualism/isolation and have so little support. People choose jobs that are so far away, they spend more time with their cars than their families.
I am seeing good projects happening and attitudes changing. Good things are happening there... more and more good things- I think. It is so tempting to want to stay, just to teach people and create great things and smell the orange blossoms and bike around in the 75 degree evenings mmmmmm... but, I love it here. I am teaching here. I bike here.
those orange blossoms will just have to wait until the next time I can soak up the sun.
if any az people are reading this and want ideas to create community in your neighborhood...
check out
portland city repair project
or take a trip to tucson and visit the dunbar springs area
or look up info about transition towns
join the phoenix permaculture guild
meet your neighbors
do something
Visiting the city I grew up in, validated almost all of the reasons I moved to oregon. The biggest one is community. I love my phx people...my permie family, my alternatives cafe family, my azmamas tribe, and my real family.... and.... it is just so weird to have my families spread out over an 80 mile radius. Weird and unnatural for me. My need for connection and community is so strong, as is my need for NOT driving... I could hardly handle the phx reality. I felt sad that so many people struggle so much because they have chosen individualism/isolation and have so little support. People choose jobs that are so far away, they spend more time with their cars than their families.
I am seeing good projects happening and attitudes changing. Good things are happening there... more and more good things- I think. It is so tempting to want to stay, just to teach people and create great things and smell the orange blossoms and bike around in the 75 degree evenings mmmmmm... but, I love it here. I am teaching here. I bike here.
those orange blossoms will just have to wait until the next time I can soak up the sun.
if any az people are reading this and want ideas to create community in your neighborhood...
check out
portland city repair project
or take a trip to tucson and visit the dunbar springs area
or look up info about transition towns
join the phoenix permaculture guild
meet your neighbors
do something
Monday, February 16, 2009
meetings
A day of meetings. It is physically possible to have had more meetings today, but from 2pm until a little bit ago, I have been in different forms of meetings. I love meetings. I am not complaining. I am tired and ready for bed though. I am preparing for a 2 week trip back to Phoenix. I am overwhelmed with getting my personal and work stuff ready for me to not be here. I have been here since June 2, 2008. 8 months! The longest I have been away from LV since I have lived here has been ...maybe...3 days? That is odd. I cant remember a time since college, when I haven't traveled in so long. The odd part is that I don't feel very compelled to leave or travel. I want to be here. After sitting in these meetings all day, it feels weird to be leaving. I will miss the 1st official facilitator guild meeting, I will miss a purpose circle and a few well being meetings, and other misc. gatherings. It will be ok- I know. As R said the other day...(he has come and gone to LV over the last 10 years) ' so much changes, but sooo much is the same' . When I come back there will still be no official alcohol policy, and most likely no membership track. We seem to be in this forward propulsion though, where I wouldn't be surprised if I am wrong about that. I trust that the community will make (or not make) great decisions without my presence. What I do need to worry about is that the mice wont come take over my room... or saying bye to anyone who is leaving while I am gone... staking a claim on a bigger room in case of another housing shuffle...etc.
Thank you J and M for gathering us for what has been called , the first ever LV staff meeting!
...get ready for tomorrows 'almost mandatory' rollerskating adventure
Thank you J and M for gathering us for what has been called , the first ever LV staff meeting!
...get ready for tomorrows 'almost mandatory' rollerskating adventure
Sunday, February 15, 2009
anti prom
A select few, enjoyed Kitchen Prom 2009, last night. P even happened to be wearing her prom dress. At the last minute I decided it would be fun to have a prom here since it was V day and K never participated in one. I quickly put together a play list of goofy 80's ish songs, in the hopes of getting some people to dance and reminisce.
It started a bit later than I planned, but it turned out great. P and M were making bagels like they did on their first date. R wandered and talked about how he usually doesn't dance. K finally convinced me to slow dance with him... I had to teach him some moves. There was a quick 2 girl slow dance to demonstrate the typical american middle school dance style. N came in and out frequently and just continued to shake his head.
We mostly sat in the kitchen and listened to the music, talked about the songs, and occasionally a slow dance happened.
It was fun.
It started a bit later than I planned, but it turned out great. P and M were making bagels like they did on their first date. R wandered and talked about how he usually doesn't dance. K finally convinced me to slow dance with him... I had to teach him some moves. There was a quick 2 girl slow dance to demonstrate the typical american middle school dance style. N came in and out frequently and just continued to shake his head.
We mostly sat in the kitchen and listened to the music, talked about the songs, and occasionally a slow dance happened.
It was fun.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Bliss party!
I am settling into bed, all comfy cozy, after a nice long hot tub sit. I had some nice conversations about love and fear, metallica, axillary LV band, mocha making, maypoles, not playing tambourine, bonfires, millionaires buying PBR for us, and healing. B, D, J, and K came and went while I was there...all guys. I am , once again, living in a place surrounded by guys. Our ratio is about 7:1 guys:girls. When we have permaculture classes it is usually the opposite though.
A quick run down of the day.
c+c
FDA visited me to get proof that we were notified about the peanut recall. C was very excited about having government officials visiting us, although it was rather uneventful- she didn't even stay for lunch.
leftover lunch day
I read a little bit of David Holmgrens book
wandered around wondering what i should do next
Had an ice cream social. I got a good deal on some coconut bliss. I need to pay the kitchen back for it so I put a sign up requesting 25 cents a scoop. yum.
Hot tub night!
A quick run down of the day.
c+c
FDA visited me to get proof that we were notified about the peanut recall. C was very excited about having government officials visiting us, although it was rather uneventful- she didn't even stay for lunch.
leftover lunch day
I read a little bit of David Holmgrens book
wandered around wondering what i should do next
Had an ice cream social. I got a good deal on some coconut bliss. I need to pay the kitchen back for it so I put a sign up requesting 25 cents a scoop. yum.
Hot tub night!
C+C music factory
Every Thursday we have something we like to call c and c. It is short for cleansing and creation. We all come together at 9:30, hold hands, make announcements, remember why we are here, and then get a 2 hour job of cleaning some part of the land. Basically, its our time to clean the bathrooms. Lately there is more cleansing and less creating. Theoretically we would have options for creative work like painting a mural in the bathroom, not just cleaning it.
We didn't have any options like that today, but we did have some new off the wall excitement. We started out by circling outside behind the lodge. It is a nice sunny day, but why behind the lodge I wondered. I soon found out that S was giving a short recycling demonstration. That seems normal and very useful....then the absurdity set in...in my mind. R was videotaping with his little camera...I am eating my egg in a basket breakfast... D and J are facing the other direction...A has crazy hair... alot of us are dazed and would prefer to still be sleeping...
S shows us that things are not being placed in the proper cans for trash and recycling. When this happens he has to dig through the trash. For full effect, he dumps out the can marked for paper only. To our dismay we find a paper bag filled with non paper items. Then the investigation starts. The bag was from DQ! Oh the horror! Who would eat at DQ then put all the trash in the bag and put it in with recycles! *someone who ate at DQ apparently*
All in good humor, we started pointing fingers. We come up with a pack it in pack it out sort of rule. We thank S for showing us that we need to be a little better about living what we teach.
Part 2. We move into a sunny spot to choose our jobs for the morning. We make announcements such as.... FDA lady is coming to confiscate the rest of our recalled peanuts....coconut bliss party tonight... lets step it up a notch and get the place clean for our season of visitors...
and we choose our jobs.....bathrooms....lodge....dorms....office area....driveway pothole filling...kitchen....kitchen....anyone?
two people finally slowly raise their hands
'which one of you really wants to clean the kitchen?'
naturally we needed to rock paper scissor decide this one
I say naturally, but that doesn't mean this is how we always make these decisions...but in this moment, it just seemed to be the obvious thing to do.
M and M went into the circle for this serious situation. We all eagerly watched to see who the winner of the kitchen cleaning would be.
Too bad R wasn't videotaping anymore, cause the reaction of the winner was pretty funny.
We all dispersed to our chosen jobs.
Now I am here writing about it, and the day has just begun.
I still need to write about last nights PC.
We didn't have any options like that today, but we did have some new off the wall excitement. We started out by circling outside behind the lodge. It is a nice sunny day, but why behind the lodge I wondered. I soon found out that S was giving a short recycling demonstration. That seems normal and very useful....then the absurdity set in...in my mind. R was videotaping with his little camera...I am eating my egg in a basket breakfast... D and J are facing the other direction...A has crazy hair... alot of us are dazed and would prefer to still be sleeping...
S shows us that things are not being placed in the proper cans for trash and recycling. When this happens he has to dig through the trash. For full effect, he dumps out the can marked for paper only. To our dismay we find a paper bag filled with non paper items. Then the investigation starts. The bag was from DQ! Oh the horror! Who would eat at DQ then put all the trash in the bag and put it in with recycles! *someone who ate at DQ apparently*
All in good humor, we started pointing fingers. We come up with a pack it in pack it out sort of rule. We thank S for showing us that we need to be a little better about living what we teach.
Part 2. We move into a sunny spot to choose our jobs for the morning. We make announcements such as.... FDA lady is coming to confiscate the rest of our recalled peanuts....coconut bliss party tonight... lets step it up a notch and get the place clean for our season of visitors...
and we choose our jobs.....bathrooms....lodge....dorms....office area....driveway pothole filling...kitchen....kitchen....anyone?
two people finally slowly raise their hands
'which one of you really wants to clean the kitchen?'
naturally we needed to rock paper scissor decide this one
I say naturally, but that doesn't mean this is how we always make these decisions...but in this moment, it just seemed to be the obvious thing to do.
M and M went into the circle for this serious situation. We all eagerly watched to see who the winner of the kitchen cleaning would be.
Too bad R wasn't videotaping anymore, cause the reaction of the winner was pretty funny.
We all dispersed to our chosen jobs.
Now I am here writing about it, and the day has just begun.
I still need to write about last nights PC.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
"I found myself at lost valley"
I am just loving some of the off the wall, completely random conversations that have been happening lately.
today so far...
cannibalism- at lunch 2nd day in a row- yet again the topic was changed quickly of course. chocolate, price of chocolate, and where to get some organic bars that are on sale for 1 $... this info was received thru an urgent email earlier in the day. how to cook beans. purpose circle* on ice. required field trip to the skating rink next week. stories of falling in blackberry bushes, rose bushes and cacti...some while drunk.
*purpose circle is our most important decision making time. It is very structured with a consensus model. I have gotten in trouble for laughing in these meetings at least once. We are in the middle of working out ways to ease the decision making process here. Some people have called it purple circus.
ooo maybe that can be the title of my blog!
today so far...
cannibalism- at lunch 2nd day in a row- yet again the topic was changed quickly of course. chocolate, price of chocolate, and where to get some organic bars that are on sale for 1 $... this info was received thru an urgent email earlier in the day. how to cook beans. purpose circle* on ice. required field trip to the skating rink next week. stories of falling in blackberry bushes, rose bushes and cacti...some while drunk.
*purpose circle is our most important decision making time. It is very structured with a consensus model. I have gotten in trouble for laughing in these meetings at least once. We are in the middle of working out ways to ease the decision making process here. Some people have called it purple circus.
ooo maybe that can be the title of my blog!
another blog?
While driving home from a rollerskating adventure with a few of my community members, I realized something....I really should be documenting this craziness. I am living in this community that is known around the world. This place is one of THE examples of intentional communities. I am here. I am the community. I am helping structure what our intentions are in this community. I am living the life I envisioned for so many years. I need to document this daily. So much happens here in one day sometimes it feels like a week has gone by. I am still deciding exactly how I want to do this. I might keep all names a secret. I might use initials. I might do random mutterings of gratitude. I might be serious. I might write about important permaculture principles. I'm sure I will use pictures of some sort. I want to write daily. Help keep me accountable! Email me if I am not writing daily!
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