"occupy Lost Valley"

or
"I found myself at Lost valley".

A friend was staying at LV for a few days. A few of us thought it would be fun to go make dinner and eat out there with her. On weekends Lv usually doesnt have community meals, and sometimes the whole place just clears out. It was pretty dead while we were there, although I did meet a few new people and a little boy joined us for most of the night- which was a little weird... where were his parents?! I guess they were somewhere, trusting that he was safe, and thats ok with me.
It was fun connecting with my friends, establishing our new tribal family, in a 'neutral' setting, eating squash and butter mmmmmmm. It sounds like we are going to start building tiny structures soon. that is exciting. I cant wait to start helping with that!

suburban lifestyle

I dont remember if I already mentioned that I live in the suburbs. Sometimes it feels like a community, a superficial one, but still. There are tons of kids here for Ama to play with, people at least vaguely know who lives here, and I could probably borrow sugar from a neighbor if I needed to. It is so weird here though. It's like living on another planet. As one friend put it 'its so sterile.' If the lawn gets a quarter inch too high, it gets mowed. If one person decorates for Halloween, they all do. I am pretty certain I am the only one in the neighborhood renting a room. Other than my roommate, I am probably the only single mother on the block. There are no gardens. I accidentally guerrilla gardened some fava beans that got mowed today. Everyone is excited about the duck games... thats football.
I spend most of my days in town... at my mom's, at my friends', at tine house.
I get to come home to a nice, quiet, clean and warm house.

floating village

I am so grateful.... so so grateful for my crew. my floating village. my loves. my friends near and far who can meet me at a deep level. my friends who are now starting to meet regularly at the t.i.n.e. house.

transition
into
new
eugene

we started meeting on wednesday evenings to practice deep listening in a circle we were calling forum. I will gather some links about it, but it started out at a community, for the community. A daily meeting to encourage communication amongst people living in the village.
it turns out, its a little weird for some people to do forum without the daily contact of living together. I saw it as a floating village. people would come and go. many participate only once, a few see the value and return weekly.
I see the value whether we live together or not. there isnt much opportunity out there for people to share their feelings, to be seen and heard.
if you live in a community I highly recommend something like this. I think it defeats gossip before it can start... among other important benefits. I have noticed most communities are lacking in gatherings and especially gatherings to be seen and heard.

http://www.zegg-forum.org/what-is-zegg-forum.phtml

I like the explanation on this site.

pop up village

I am always intrigued by any form of community living. Cohousing, ecohoods, apartments, you name it... it, if there is a large number of people sleeping in the same 1 block radius, I get excited. I start noticing the benefits, drawbacks and efficiencies.
When I was at rainbow gathering this summer, I realized why I am not so into these big festivals like burning man. It is a great example of a temporary village, but with all the effort put into creating the systems... why not just stay? * It just feels so non sustainable it literally makes me sick. I get headaches and throw up. seriously.
My excitement this week is about the pop up villages happening all over for the occupy movement. I occupied eugene for awhile yesterday and it was great! Now I know why the group was having so many meetings instead of demonstrations, they were putting the systems in place to camp out for months. They have committees for cooking, sanitation, morale, and probably everything else a community needs. In true eugene spirit they have a focus on love, sharing, and equality.
I might camp out there this weekend.


*I know there is a 14 day limit and or other limitations... but with thousands of people joining together it seems like some solution could come about

work trading

Since I am not working much yet, and I am not living in a community yet, I have been work trading. It has been nice reaching out and offering to help at a few places around eugene. I worked in the gardens at Eggcentric farm. Today I thinned the carrot patch at Heartaculture and helped leaf mulch an area. Tomorrow I am helping at the tine house. One of the best parts of community living for me is working with people. Its like the tribes who dont even have a word for 'work' because ... well, its just life, and it can be fun.
I hope to work with Blessed Bee pretty soon and I cant wait until I get to milk the cow at heartaculture!

o wow

What a great trip we had! It morphed into something I wasnt expecting. I thought we were going to visit a whole new list of farms and communities, work trading. Instead, we focused on visiting friends and family from seattle to hollywood. We ....
canoed with jay
planted beans with matt
ate cupcakes with carly
saw dino bones with chris
held bunnies with another chris
cracked eggs with jennifer
played skeeball with didi
ziplined with jessi
chased waves with zoryana
collected crabs with rachel

rode ponies, sled in a trashbag, visited the dawson house, played in arcades, saw Hermione's hand prints, skinny dipped in willow lake, soaked in hot springs, spelunked, hiked to see waterfalls, sat in a covered wagon, and joined every library summer reading program along the way !

to the top

We are on the road...
so far we visited Dicentra farm in Monmouth, Heartaculture in Eugene, and Lost Valley. Our visits have been great! Aside from the farm places, we also visited friends and family in Seattle. Ama's number 1 request was to go to the top of the space needle, so we did.
We played at some of the most amazing playgrounds too. Lincoln Park has this zip line swing that most kids would dream of - at least I did when I was little. A park at the high point in west seattle is where we got to watch fireworks. Meridian park is where I fell of 'death by tongue slide' - our name given to a slide that looks like a tongue. We didnt go to Carkeek park this time, but it is hard to forget a slide that shoots you out of a salmon butt.
Seattle treated us well, and so has eugene... despite the weather. Rain seems to be here to stay for the summer.
Next we will be exploring Bend and sleeping in a tipi there..
then Umpqua Hot springs for a night of camping and soaking
then Medford to help with a friends farm
then off to explore some volcanoes!
other plans include going to the top of LA and the top of the redwoods

relevant

Finally, a relevant post. I am in the midst of planning a summer adventure! Just like the title of my blog... watch out communities , here we come!
Here is my brief letter I am sending out to farms...

Adventure with a purpose (or 2)

My name is Leslie. I have an 8year old daughter named Ama and we are ready to go on another adventure. We have two objectives in mind.

1. to visit farm communities in the hopes to find a great match for a long term commitment

2. to learn more hands on skills ( a sort of unschooling summer trip)

We have lived and worked in other communities such as Lost Valley in Oregon and the Ecohood in Phoenix. We have experience teaching permaculture classes... yes, Ama has helped her dad teach the backyard chicken classes for the Phoenix Permaculture Guild! I developed and taught a class called “Kids in Community” for the PDC in Phoenix and at Lost Valley. I also have experience Wwoofing on a blueberry farm, where I learned everything from mulching, to picking, to packing and selling at the Newport farmers market.

We would like to visit for a few days in July or August.

Please let me know your availability, and I will let you know more specific times when my plan comes together more.

Thank you!
Leslie and Ama

prplwmn@gmail.com

I am signed up to wwoof again this year (thats a work trade program), so I have the book and I am sending this email out to a few places every day. There are a ton of great looking places, but with differing schedules and needs of each place I am guessing if I sent out 20 emails it is possible only a handful will work out.
by the way... YAY I am taking 2 months off to explore!
I have 2 months to visit everyone from Bellingham down to Sacramento and maybe even all the way to phx --that might take some convincing in 120 degree heat-- but, go ahead and convince me! If you want us to visit, let me know soon, so I can plan it in.
also, if you know any cool communities or farms for us to visit, let me know, or pass on my letter to them.
thank you!
hope to see you soon!

about time

I need to write! It's been over a month and I feel the need to write. I know hardly anyone reads my extremely amateur writing, but I like to do it.
I dont like this feeling of... not having enough time, franticness, stressed... whatever it is. I can be a little grateful for having such a full life... and its also hard to not have 15 minutes to sit down and check the job listings. In the long run I know I need to schedule in this time and make it a priority so I can eventually have a more fulfilling job or even a career.
I hope I sounded ok telling the new seasons deli manager that I havent had 5 minutes to look at other jobs in the company yet. This is the guy that interviewed me recently for a job I thought i would get for sure. And I didnt. And I'm sure there is a good reason in the big scheme of things... but it turns out I was REALLY looking forward to not continuing a few of my cleaning jobs. Now I know that for sure. And, it was a weekend only job, so not getting it meant working more than full time while easing out of my current job, and not getting weekends off for the next 3 months. so, whatever. But the security in working for a company was sounding sooooo nice. benefits are sounding sooo nice. nice and normal.
For now I am manifesting a perfect job at the sellwood new seasons. perfect hours, perfect days, perfect location, perfect job.
I am also grateful for my weekends free
I am grateful I have this nice flexible job in the meantime
I am grateful that I can ride my bike to a few of my jobs (when it stops raining)
I am grateful that my work doesnt even feel like work sometimes and I am usually pleasantly surprised when I get a paycheck
I am also grateful for....
crashing the laughing party
tom kha
circus classes
breaks in the rain
the cayzers
healing times and mystical mysteries
DUP
buddha church
free estate sales
netflix
a lovely midweek day spent with my Ama- even if it included a doctor visit and a few hours at work
an agreeable Ama at the doctor's office
our trip to froyo
and pizzacato
white chocolate croissants and mint mochas
dreams
peoples co-op
kids' apologies and make up hugs
costco guys who have to check my tires every month
dinners with friends
partially lazy weekends

it's all connected

bathrooms, aliens, fear, protector, Lost Valley, dreams, people....

I finally heard her dream. Her 'bad dream' that she has been mentioning for 3 years, but never wanted to tell me. She said it was too bad to tell me. It is too scary.
She still didnt tell me, but I overheard her story when she pulled her friend aside to tell him. She walked round the corner about 10 feet away and proceeded to tell her story, quite loudly.
I think she may have wanted me to hear.
I hope that she is getting the healing she needs from finally sharing her dream with me.
I can only guess what it all means, but it seems pretty clear. It is all coming together. Her strong desire to protect me, her fear of people and bathrooms...
I have done my best to make different healing options available... I let her know she can tell me or tell someone else her dreams, I gave her space to not tell me, I offered for her to explore painting it out, I had a healer to come do reiki with her, I brought in some Taras to protect her, my friend Tara :) brought in some angels to help her, I give her fish oils in her juice, I buy her healing stones, we light candles...
and on and on
I guess that day that she told me she had a bad dream and I held her and listened to what she would share with me, I had no idea we would still be working through it 3 years later.
I guess that's life
at least today

on hold

Sometimes it seems like I am living the wrong life. Or like my life is on hold. Maybe I will get to do all the things I want to do, but for some reason it seems unlikely that I can do what I want to do. It is possible I just need to be patient and work on getting to where I want to be. Its possible. Maybe it's weird that I feel this way. I have done alot of cool things. It just seems like Ama is at an age that she needs to have more stability and I actually want that too, but I also want to travel. I dont see a way to get both of our needs met with the resources I have right now. That frustrates me and then I feel stuck. I want to be able to have a seasonal job, or work a month in an ashram, then work a month on a farm, then work a month in Ireland... or whatever.
I also think I may have made some mistakes. I used to make 8times what I make now. I am extemely low income and dont really see myself getting out of that. I cant travel with a child, with no income. I cant just be a traveling gypsy in a covered wagon in this day and age... although that is something else I would really like to do as well.
I feel stuck in the middle.

conclusion

On January 28th, 2011, I came to a conclusion. After years of extensive research, observation, and reading , I decided that this concept of loving yourself will make others like you, is simply not true. I believed the theories out there. It's a great concept in an ideal world... a world where everything is purple and pink with flowers and unicorns and frolicking under rainbows. Sure , if I decide to see the world through these rainbow colored glasses, then it might make it true in my own little world. If I imagine everyone loves me, then in my head it is true.
I dont see that happening in reality though until everyone, or lets say over half of everyone, puts on the same peace, love and rainbow glasses too.
In reality, there are many people wearing poop colored glasses (I am borrowing this term from Kaseja at Heart of Now).
Believing in these theories helped me learn to love myself more, and put me on this path and its great. I have faith that the more we all concentrate on world peace, it will happen. My outlook is positive, and, realistic.
I have experimented with loving myself in order to attract loving people. Maybe, I was around the wrong people in the first place? , but my lack of social skills is what I see turning people off. No matter how loving the person isand no matter how much I love myself, if I dont do the right small talk, they move on in most cases.
On the other end, I have been in horrible moods, not liking my life and good things have happened to me.
Until we are all peaceful Buddha like people, we will be attracted to the good conversationalists, who entertain us or know how to compliment us, and not attracted to those who seem different, wrong or bad.
We all have golden hearts with pure loving intentions when you take all the other crap away.

creeks, flowers and lattes

I am equally content with so many things, it seems impossible to make a decision. I really love where I am living right now. I love being in a neighborhood. I love sitting at my desk, looking out the window and seeing the guy who built a canoe attached to his bike, walk by. I wonder where his boat/bike is. I love riding my bike down the street and recognizing a FB friend who I have not yet met in person. I love walking around the corner to get a 2$ latte. In the spring I will love it even more when my walk to the creek includes being showered by pink petals from the trees.
And... I really love living in nature. I loved living in a little cabin in the woods. I loved walking down to the swimming hole to sit and breathe. I loved cooking for my community mates. I loved the daily social opportunities living with 15-80 other people in the forest.
Ideally I would find the perfect blend of these 2. I want to find an acre, in the city and invite my friends to live with me. I think it would be an ideal way to live a permaculture life. I want 1 main, big, community house... and then a lovely outdoor house with a kitchen and shower and composting toilet... and small living areas scattered around like huts, tee pees, tents, cobs, strawbales, treehouses and containers....
I want to be by a creek and/or open space. We will have fruit trees, berries, grapes, and other foods growing.
We will live very simply, and still be able to walk down the street and get a latte :)

current events

I get most of my news from my clients. I was asked yesterday "do you keep up with ANY current events?" I'm not really sure how to answer that. My current events involve getting Ama to school, or who's bathroom did I clean today, or how many piles of leaves did I rake, or does my friend need emotional support, or when is Ama having a playdate... etc.
I dont have a tv. I dont get the paper. I dont browse the internet news.
I sometimes listen to NPR. I read a facebook post here or there. I listen to my friends opinions.
'Did you hear what that guy said, who was in Iraq, but left and did that thing last year?'
umm, no
that is 1 reason why I dont keep up with current events... thats how I would sound if I tried talking about it. That is pretty much what my client asked me. And... is it a current event if it was last year?
I can hardly keep up with my current events, I cant keep up with every politician, celebrity, or anything else.
Is that bad?
I dont think so. I get a little embarrased. People somehow then assume I am dumb and thats annoying. Or they assume I am not interested. I am. I can listen to people and their opinions all day. But there are very few things I have strong opinions on, so asking me my opinion... might sound something like
'oh, uuuh , yeah, that guy did that, ok. I guess that worked for him. I hope he is happy with that choice'

happiness is...

...listening to 2 little girls singing this at a birthday party talent show today






and then dedicating the happiness and joy in that room to all beings!

elders

http://communities.ic.org/articles/1413/Elderhood_In_and_Out_of_Community

My friend and former community-mate wrote this article for communities magazine. I have been thinking about these issues alot lately. Obviously I thought about how children and elders can be respected in community when I lived at Lost Valley ( the community Dianne founded and wrote about in the article). Now, that I work with elders I see the need for community even more. I get paid to work with elders because in most cases, they have no one else to help them. It is very sad. I love helping people, I love my job... and sometimes I feel guilty accepting their gratitude, I cant help but think.... yeah, but I am getting paid to be here. I have to get paid, that is just my situation right now unfortunately.

These thoughts are what sparked one of my last blogs about isolation. I have left a few jobs crying because the elders I work with are not respected members of community..
A lady lost her husband 10 years ago and is still sad and lonely filling her time with t.v.
A man lost his wife a year ago and has no idea how to cook.
A lady was sent to live in a depressing nursing home because she has no one else to care for her or even sit and chat with her.

Its time to build lovely communities that respect everyone's goodness.

sidenote-
this picture was taken at Lost Valley
some of you may not know that we were told to leave. one of the reasons was that Ama was a liability because she climbs trees

waking up

I just wanted to write a quick note before work. I am sitting here with my marshmallow topped mocha, reading emails, checking my horoscope, sending out some facebook love...
Thank you to my friends who have sent some very useful advice and words of encouragement. I like getting feedback from others on how I can improve.
I am also excited. My horoscope yesterday said that I need to be around people who can help me save the world 1 person at a time. That sounds perfect. That sounds even better than my older saying that was saving the world one jar at a time (my other blog) because ultimately it does come down to saving each person.
No
I dont mean I am trying to "save" people. I mean it in an activist type of way. Or in a way of helping people find joy,and happiness... helping people 'wake up' to what is happening in the world and what is happening with themselves. Or helping 1 parent at a time, so they can help one child at a time.
Todays horoscope was about how busy my life will be getting. that also sounds about right. I have been getting more proactive and effective with scheduling. I have a calendar right here next to me even! I have something going on for the next week straight... multiple things in each day. I am having dinners, going to dances, lunches, playdates and maybe even a concert.
I could write so much more on these topics ... but for now I need to go to work :)

rewards

Years ago I read the book 'Unconditional Parenting', and learned that rewards are just as damaging to children as punishment is. I really believe in this concept. I took it to heart. I fully believe in love and trust over fear. Love always wins.
then there is reality
I really have a little girl, who has to get along in society. Although I dont really believe in some of these tactics, I do know I need to see her relating better in the world. I have noticed that she might do well with some rewards and punishments.
I am writing this in the hopes of getting some real advice from some real friends and parents and people who work with children.
My ideals seem to have not raised a decent child.
Trusting that she will have empathy and not want others to be upset.... has not worked. She needs clear boundaries, rules, expectations....something.
Not time out, not spanking, not bribes...
it can be a fine line though.
and sometimes I am let feeling like...' what CAN I do?'
I dont know what to do

I have started a little system. She does well with knowing what her responsibilities are and then having them acknowledged. We have a chore chart. She gets a heart for every job she gets done every day. One 'job' is being respectful. If she can tell me a way she has been respectful that day, she gets a heart. One day she noticed a time when she could have gotten angry and aggressive, but she made another choice and talked it out with me- she got a bonus heart that day.
I think this is working ok. it might take more time to really see. maybe this system could even be more clear. I'm not sure.
I did go to school to be a teacher, so I know the concepts-the positives and negatives of these systems.... but that is in a school setting.
I feel like I should know exactly what to do. and I feel like I have no idea.

I also think I need to regain the leadership role.
somehow
She needs to know the world doesnt revolve around her... maybe thats a whole other topic, or maybe that will come about with the system I am creating. I dont know.
Some days I just feel like I did this all wrong.

angels

What if we all treated other people like they were angels blessing us with their presence?
An author I love , Sobonfu Some, writes about her village in Africa and how they believe that everyone has a gift. It is the job of the people in the village to help each person remember their gifts. They also see conflict as a gift.
"Without conflict to crack open hidden thoughts, meanings, and energies, and without the means of dealing with conflict, a community is bound to stagnate and eventually cease to exist."
quote from her book "Welcoming Spirit Home"

Like I was mentioning in the last post, I have a hard time letting other people see when I am not at my best parenting. Although I believe in this idea about conflict, it is very hard for me to feel 'wrong', or to feel judged by outsiders. I am doing better and trying different things. If Ama has an outburst in public, I do my best to just sit with it... patiently... and try to listen to her needs.... and not feel the need to hide.
Today some angels visited us.
A tantrum on the street turned into a power struggle. I did my best, and I really wanted to get out of the cold, and I wanted to eat.. and honestly, I needed to win this battle.
but thats not the point
2 people came by to help
1 lady came by and said the hospital might be able to help us ... :/
another lady came by on her bike and asked Ama about her needs... offered her hat if she was cold, offered her mittens, offered a ride since she didnt want to walk...
It is difficult for me to fully accept help sometimes, yet I do want it. I did my best to accept the gifts these angels brought to us today. Ultimately the 2nd lady helped end the 20 minute stand off debacle on 21st and Division this afternoon.
I hope we all can do this more often.
No matter how difficult or uncomfortable it may be, this is how we can end oppression, abuse, bullying, and even prevent kidnapping. We have to speak up, we have to help each other.
I am so thankful.
My heart is so full tonight.
I was told that I was angel. Within an hour of the debacle, I ran into a lady I worked for last month. I was her angel :)

isolation

Something has happened here, where freedom and independence has turned into isolation. I think there are many -too many- people out there who can go through a day and not talk to anyone. Many more people are going though days only talking to a few select people. And how much of that talk is meaningful?
I also think some of the most isolated people are moms. I can remember many days when Ama was a baby, when she was the only person I talked to. It can literally make a person crazy. Sure, I took her to storytimes, classes and on errands, but conversations at those places dont usually get too deep. I was doing my best, but I dont think she learned very good social skills from these things. I have never claimed to be a good person to learn social skills from! As she got older and started causing more "trouble" , I wanted to be even less social. I cant bring a child who hits on a playdate can I? Eventually I learned that if I didnt bring her to playdates then how would she learn not to hit? I made that realization but didnt know I had much bigger issues to overcome. -thats another story-
This is a viscious cycle and a huge oppression to overcome.
I am trying so hard to beat my isolation tendencies and gently help others at the same time.... and it is so hard for me. I am not outgoing, I have been considered extremely shy for parts of my life, and my parental self esteem seems pretty much gone. I am trying. Everything I have learned has been pointing me in this direction. I want to try harder, even if people might think it's weird.
If I invite you to dinner.... remember how hard it can be to have someone in my space.
If I bring my child to an event.... trust that I know she should be there.
If I come to your event.... understand my quiet nature comes from fear and/or contentment.
If I invite you to come live in my village.... tell me your ideas, and ask about mine.
If I invite you rollerskating, trampoline jumping, or to a party in the Fred Meyer lounge on Hawthorne.... (I hope you come)
whatever it is
know that I am doing my best to break the isolation patterns that are too common in society.

change

In an attempt to write more, I have apparently taken to the style of writing whatever I am thinking or feeling in that moment. I dont edit or write rough drafts.
I was thinking about how different my life can be from week to week. This has been a crazy year. A week ago I had a different life. I was living with my ex, wondering if I would be able to keep my foodstamps because of it. I was home with Ama for winter break, planning a move.
This week I live with another mom, I have plenty of money on my food card, I have a new client, Ama rides the bus to school again, it is a new year.. and it feels like a new life.
A month ago was another life.
October seemed to have a whole different life, and 3 months before that... completely different!
In those months there were even major deviations. I like a life full of variety... but how about some stability too.
please.
Maybe the important things are stable in my life. I have food, a place to live, certain people who will always 'be there'.
I dont think there is a point to this. I was just noticing how different things can be. Certain people are very important in your day to day life one day, then they seem like a figment to your imagination the next.
Things seem very scary one day, then forgotten the next.
At any point a new person could enter my life and change it all again.

minor breakdown

I am freaking out. Birds are falling out of the sky, I am sitting here alone, I feel like a mess, I need connection, my kid seems possessed, I drive too far to work, I need to shave, I only want pizza-ice cream-and mochas, I have rent to pay, I need a career, I want to watch tv all day, I want to knit all day, I created a monster, and birds are falling out of the sky!
The birds are dying, the fish are dying... it reminds me of the squirrels around here in the fall... they were dying too- just like they died in mid nut hunt.
There is a group that believes that jesus comes back on May 21 2011. That is judgement day. So, guess what, if you are still around after that, you didnt get into heaven!
I almost have the capability to formulate my ideas about how this ties into the Buddhist perspective. Almost.
I should just meditate all day
maybe I can save myself from the earth hell they say will happen after 5-21-11
Why is it all 21's?
Why is the end of the world allegedly on my birthday?
12-21-12
Why does it seem like meditating wont help
Maybe this is too crazy to post?
oh well, I will just have to make a gratitude list tomorrow to make up for it

resolution ?

I guess its that time to claim I will do something different this year. Dont get me wrong, I know I will do things different. I know I will get better and better everyday, but will I really become a highly effective person this year? Am I already highly effective? I know I am highly efficient when I actually do things, sometimes.
There are so many things I could put on a list of resolutions. And now I can even put the number 1 American NYE resolution on there since it looks like I have gained a few pounds. The idea that keeps swirling around me in conversations is that I should pick 1 thing to focus on. 1 thing that would possibly cover most of the things on a list... like cultivate happiness, meditate, love, or support. They even suggest choosing 1 word to encompass it all.
maybe mine should be focus.
I have been focusing on 1 theme in the last few weeks, since burning what I want to let go of in the Solstice fire.
It still seems a little vague and wordy though.
It has to do with building my support network. I need to do some work on the wording and specifics. But this is still outside of myself so I want to use some of the resolutions that my teacher gave me at Buddha church... meditate every day.

maybe my word should be clarity
or
acceptance

Do I have to pick 1 word?

narcissism

I was called selfish recently. I didnt take it very well. Then this person proceeded to tell me this everyday in emails and decided to label me narcissistic. I welcome constructive feedback, and look inside to see if peoples reflections are true for me. At what point is feedback abusive though?
I can admit to having some ego that I could let go of. We all do. It is my ego that enjoys posting on facebook and blogs. It is my ego that says 'wait, stop calling me selfish'. But really.... narcissistic? I dont believe in labels. I think we all have issues that come and go. Fear comes and goes. I wanted to ask him "is there a pill for that?" That is pretty much the point of labeling someone bi polar, ADD or anything else right? Then you know what pill to give them.
Narcissistic or not, I dont think there is a pill for me.
This person was nice enough to give me a book for my birthday called "Why is it Always about You". I dont have it in front of me, when I do I can add in the rest of the title and author.
I am almost done with the book and I dont feel much better. I feel better having more knowledge on the subject, but more depressed about the state of society. More and more people are getting more and more selfish, raising selfish babies. The book describes how addiction is selfish. Basically anyone who is addicted, is a narcissist... that makes sense. I wonder what the percentage of addicted people is these days.
When someone is surrounded by selfish people, guess what? They take on those attributes, big surprise.
I know I am not selfish. Are there any moms reading this who have been called selfish? If you are a mom, how would it feel for you to be called selfish?
Moms have the hardest, most challenging, never ending, lowest paying, least selfish job in the world.
What I am asking for this year, is for me and all moms, to surround themselves with a loving supportive network of friends.

2011 will bring me
more loving friends
who are
emotionally healthy
supportive
motivated
grateful
part of my community
available
happy
and I will have the knowledge and strenth to know the difference!