springfield learnings

What a strange town. It's not the same strange as Eugene though. Separated by a freeway, yet worlds apart somehow. They have the-weirdest-mall-ever, and the skating rink is like one I've never experienced before.
Ive heard stories about this city on the 'wrong side of the tracks' since before I moved here...but I dont take those things to heart. I thought, its basically part of eugene, how bad could it be?
I thought that, until I spent more time there. It is a whole different world.
Not in the way people told me though. My car hasnt been broken into, I haven't been offered drugs...none of that.
I ventured to the wrong side of the tracks the other night to go rollerskating. Tuesday night is the cheapest time to go and it also happens to be Christian night. It wasnt that bad. Not much different than any other time Ive gone. the music was actually better than the typical radio disney songs they play. they did some bible trivia...but the oddest part was when, one by one, strollers kept entering the rink.
?
uh... stoller roll 2010?
at 1 point there were 3 strollers out there
then one guy was just carrying his kid and skating...
maybe Im old school, but, where I come from that is a major no no.
this rink has no rules
they dont blow the whistle at you for skating too fast, or running into people, they dont help you when you fall, they let strollers in...

and that mall...
thats a whole other story

chasing Ben

I had a dream the other night that i was out on the town with some friends. We all had dates but werent that involved. My friend brought a date who happened to be Ben Affleck. Eventually I realized that if I ever had a chance to get to know someone rich and famous, this was the time and besides.... he is my type. So, I was chasing ben.
There are so many reasons I had this dream. While joyfully scrubbing walls at work for the true happiness of all beings, I am thinking. I've been thinking about contradiction. The good kind. The kind of contradiction where life as you know it has completely flipped. The judgements, ideas, habits and patterns you live by are turned upside down. And everywhere i go I am learning this...whether its learning true happiness from the buddhist lecture, co-counseling my friends and family, doing the Work, or remembering a line from a movie*.
I may as well list some other reasons I had this dream. Ive been thinking about dating, thinking about missed opportunities with people Ive known and not known, thinking about financial security, and connecting with my good friend Ben. Then there's the superficial ideas about meeting prince charming, being famous- at least by association. I mean, wouldnt it be cool to say Ben Affleck is my boyfriend? But, I can easily contradict that idea. He is just a person, equally 'cool' as anyone else.

So...for the true happiness of all beings, I will become Buddha in this very life, therefore I will joyfully post this blog.
buddhist teachings
http://www.dzogchenlineage.org/index.html

co-counseling
http://www.rc.org/

the Work
http://www.thework.com

*anyone want to play a game and guess the movie I've been thinking about?

only in eugene...

...have I gone to yoga, and the guys are better than the girls
...do I run into people I know everywhere I go
...do I get a newsletter from school reminding parents that the start time is 8:55, 45 minutes later than last year to encourage people to get there on time...because half the school is arriving late
...have I heard of a theater having auditions, letting all the kids be in the play, even the ones who missed auditions by days or weeks
...have I seen a 58 degree sunny day, followed by a rainy 48 degree day
...do I see a guy playing 'santa clause is coming to town' on a flute, in january, in the rain
...can I go to a 'green' fest and sample Divine cupcakes, theo chocolate, glory bee honey, oakshire espresso stout beer, cafe mam coffee, and sipping chocolate
...can I wear the craziest combo of double skirt over pants layered outfit with argyle socks and run into someone with an oddly similar outfit and /or get complimented
...do I not brush, wash or touch my hair for 3 days and get complimented on how good my hair looks
...I dont need to call most of my friends because I know I will run into them soon anyway

chasing rainbows

Did I already write about the correlation between Ama's happiness with school and whether or not we ride bikes to and from school? Well, she was happy with school until we stopped riding bikes. I am just not hardcore enough yet for a daily commute in cold and or rainy weather.
Her happiness went up a notch the other day...a day that would have been a lovely day for a bike ride, but it just wasnt feasible for a number of reasons. We walked out of the classroom hallway and saw a complete rainbow. A double rainbow arching over a lush park. She wanted to get to the end of the rainbow that appeared to touch ground right past the second tree from us. Instead of arguing, I just said "ok".
As we walked through the park, eventually it looked closer, ending on the bridge over the street. So we kept walking, and the rainbow kept moving. Eventually we were just about half way home (with my car behind us at the school), standing on the bridge, and she realized the rainbow is unattainable.

--this photo was taken months ago when we chased a rainbow in Dexter and discovered the answer to that question "where does the rainbow end?"
In Dexter, lake of course

until that night

some people wanted to know what I would do when I had a week off from parenting. this is how i spent my time northwest of normal...
crocheting a few new hats, different styles, different colors,
while watching movies
i went out to the movies twice!
i spun poi in a parking garage
i went to a bar! and got a sampler of 4 beers... hazelnut, orange honey, chocolate, and something that tasted like perfume
i learned how to purl (?) knit
i moved out of my house
i got rear ended...by someone I know
i went through almost every item i own, and got rid of more stuff
i watched tv
i went to bed at midnight and woke up at 10am most days
i went to a new years eve/slumber party at a community farm
stayed up till 2ish having girl talk

never been kissed..........

I have been nostalgic the last few days. Apparently it's all because of this special blue moon, lunar eclipse new years eve thing. Or maybe its just that time of year. It easy to start remembering what I did last year at this time ( I was running the LV kitchen while my boss was on vacation). 2 years ago I was in Phoenix celebrating with the coolest crew, my permie friends and cafe friends. 3 years ago I did a yankee swap gift exchange gone wrong with my family, then saw fireworks on the space needle.
It's just easier to remember the years past with something to mark the years with...like the holidays, or the ages of a child.
It's all a blur after that for me though. These last few years have been the best ever. I am so glad to do the cool things I do now.My next step is to really be able to enjoy the times with more people. I want to really know people, and for them to know me.
What else do I want?
I want to write more
I want to know what I want
I want to ask for what I want
I should put this in a more positive form by saying 'I will'
I will be a better mom
I will have a great support network
I will live life with joy and ease
I will expand my garden
I will have an art show
I will make more than enough money for everything I need
I will sell my van
I will live in community
I will be proactive
I will manifest greatness