Sometimes I wonder... if I could just say... "oh, she's autistic"
then maybe I (and she) will get some compassion
some support
a hug
instead of that glare
the glare of negative feelings because Ama has done something wrong in their eyes
I'm so tired
I want support
she wants support
she needs guidance and not just from me
If you are approaching me because she has... yelled at you, grabbed your feet, climbed on your shoulders, ran away, punched your crotch, grabbed your purse, ignored you,threw toast at you....
please consider...
has she had a horrible day?
have I heard 5 complaints already?
have I gotten more than a few hours of sleep?
has she?
has she eaten a home cooked meal this week, or mostly trader joes sushi and peanut butter?
does she have ODD , ADD or some other problem?
and yes, I do want to help resolve these things
but do you think I want you to come tell me how disagreeable and misbehaving she is?
I dont want to be judged
I want to be supported in finding a resolution
tell her how you feel when she does these things
please be patient and treat her like a person
remember you might have to interact with her for 5 minutes, I have her 24 hours a day
She is a great girl, who has unresolved trauma around groups of people. She is much different one on one.
If you consistently set your boundaries kindly, she will respect you and trust you.
she may or may not be diagnosable
i just know she has high needs and I cant do it all myself
thankyou
and please remember this for any child you encounter who seems unruly or throwing tantrums
Also, Ama is one of the most brilliant children I've met and I worked in an elemenatary school with 300. She's perceptive, kind, and capable of great sensitivity that is very uncharacteristic of her age. Ama challenges people because they deserve to be challenged. Today I yelled during a conversation with her about the us of OUR living room. She explained that she felt I was taking advantage of the space, which was true. I had no right to yell at her. No adult has the right to raise their voice at anyone else in anger of frustration, regardless of the other's age.
ReplyDeletePeople older than childhood often seem to approach their interactions with youth with a maddeningly unfair air of superiority. Maybe that is why Ama gets mad. I love that girl because of her wisdom. Take some moments to listen to her respectfully and you'll understand it too.